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"designing and arts"-How your education at AI will help you attain your career goals?


charmjelyn 1 / -  
Oct 4, 2010   #1
Please, help me because I'm not really good at my essay and such.

Fashion designing is a piece of art, can be expressed by attitude and manners on the way of dressing. I am passionate about arts, especially when my mind is having imaginations of vision images that needs to come out, makes me excited to think that this idea inspired me for what I am passionate; this reflects for who I am and what I want. Attaining a career that I want is a goal I commit. Working with a professional designer and being an apprentice is a dream of mine, I want to learn more ideas about them that can inspire me. I found that Art Institute of California- San Diego has the program that I want, and offers just the right education and programs that can help me to obtain my career goals. Allowing me to experience the job that I want and where I can express my passion and interests for designing and arts. I am confident that Art Institute of California-San Diego will give me a better education.

Thank you.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 8, 2010   #2
Fashion designing is a piece of art, can be expressed by attitude and manners on the way of dressing. ---- this first sentence confuses me. Fashion design is a form of art... --- that is how I think you should write it.

Fashion design is a form of art, and it can be used to express a certain attitude.I am passionate about arts, especially when my mind is having imaginations of vision images that needs to come out, and this makes me excited to think that this idea inspired me for what I am passionate; this reflects for who I am and what I want.

Attaining a career that I want is a goal I commit. --- I think this sentence does not help and should be left out of the essay.

Working with a professional designer and being an apprentice is a dream of mine; I want to learn more ideas about them that can inspire me. I found that Art Institute of California- San Diego has the...

Let's try to say something specific about YOUR specific goals in that last sentence of the essay. The last sentence does not really have much meaning.

Let's see another draft! Thanks for participating in EssayForum.


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