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'Designing systems and structures' - UC essay "your world"


grateful1 6 / 17 1  
Nov 23, 2012   #1
I come from a very artistically inclined family. Whether it is my sister's acting, mother's paintings, or father's guitar playing, I am constantly being exposed to the visual and performing arts. Growing up, I loved art. I relished being able to design and craft what I was envisioning . However, as I grew older and the painting utensils changed from fingers to brushes it was apparent that my technical ability did not match my creative fire. Then there was the period of time in which I attempted to learn the guitar from my dad. I had always loved classic rock, and the idea of writing and creating my own music out of thin air fascinated me endlessly. However, much like painting, I found that my fingers were too slow and uncoordinated to run up and down the fret board with any sort of proficiency.

I was at a loss. There were all sorts of inspiring design and creation going on all around me, but I was simply incapable of producing the ideas being held captive in my head. At this point in time I thought I was destined for a mundane life in a cubicle looking over financial returns. My skill in mathematics and lack of a creative output had seemingly trapped me. When I really considered it though, the notion of my life being condemned to this was something I simply could not accept when I saw the creativity taking place within my own household that I longed so desperately to be a part of. So Instead, with my family members open expression and creativity as motivation, I began to look for what I could do combining my love for creativity and design and proficiency in mathematics. Civil engineering is what I found.

While it may seem completely mundane to others, the intricacies of the design of bridges or the placement of a storm drain as to make sure a site drains correctly fulfilled everything I wanted in a profession. I would have the ability to design systems and structures on an extremely large scale and I could use my innate analytical and mathematical skills to ensure this design was feasible. My internship at a civil engineering office has further inspired my aspirations to study civil engineering and dreams of a career in the field. When I see an engineer at my office design a specific portion of a building plan it ignites my fervent passion for innovation, and when I see this engineer use a myriad of mathematical calculations to ensure the design will work I am elated by the fact that I can finally participate in my own unique form of creativity. When I look back at my past considering of a standard career in business, I realize the deep gratitude I owe to my family for inspiring me to find my own individual form of self-expression using my individual skill set.
nounoub21 3 / 11 1  
Nov 23, 2012   #2
When I look back at my past (considering of a standard career in business: DELETE) I (now) realize the deep gratitude I owe to my family for inspiring me to find my own individual form of self-expression using my (own) skill set.

Great transitions from each paragraph

I think this sounds good!
please look at mine
4m4jordan4m4 8 / 16 1  
Nov 23, 2012   #3
This is a great essay! I think you addressed the prompt well. I would try and maybe talk shorten the first two paragraphs and focus more on civil engineering though
shirley127 3 / 17 1  
Nov 25, 2012   #4
This is a powerful essay that truly captures your dreams and aspirations. If you focus more on the topic of Civil Engineering, your essay would be stronger.


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