Prompt: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
So here's a first draft I wrote--I'd appreciate any tips or advice :)
How can I pick just one?!
Over several months of heavy contemplation, deliberate deliberation and deep soul-inspection, to the point that my brain is spinning painfully with arbitrary ideas, extraordinary words and conflicting emotions, I tried and tried again to come up with one person that has made one tremendous, overwhelming impact on the course of my existence.
Despite my efforts, I came up short.
Countless people have come in and out of my life like it's going out of style, each leaving an indelible but small impression that has compiled what I am today. I could write about the woman who gave birth to me, the teacher who treated me differently, the brother I never had, the worst enemy who became my best friend, the boy who held me when I cried, or the man who saved my life-but I'd feel as if somehow, I'd be committing an injustice not covering them all. So many stories make me who I am today-how could I possibly, even conceivably, just focus on one?
When pondering this, that's when it hit me. Feeling like Albert Einstein coming to the conclusion of his conglomerated theory of the universe, my mind opened like a blossom in the inaugurating spring, grasping for that flicker of sudden radiance at the end of the ever-darkening, ever-constricting tunnel. Like a lightning strike from the ethereal heavens enlightening me with an astounding revelation, I had figured it out. I had deduced that one person that tied all of these special individuals together, managing to influence each person that had made such an impact in my mind, making such a difference in my life. And that one very special individual just happens to have the name of Jesus.
Jesus was human-just like everyone else. And yet, he managed to overcome that ominous inevitability which we all fear: death. He managed to love more than anyone ever could, he succeeded to teach with simple elegance, he articulated with a double-edged tongue. He raised his voice not to scold, but to enlighten, inspiring thousands in his lifetime and beyond, providing the perfect example of humanity, beckoning and inviting with open arms everyone and anyone to follow his path.
Had he not existed, I dread to reflect on what my life would have been like. Those who have impacted my life give credit to Jesus for everything they have done. Had my mother not found faith in that prime example of love, I would have been given an abusive parenthood reflecting her own. The missionary who converted my family to the path of righteousness did so because of his belief of the importance of standing up for what was right. Had neither of these people had a paradigm like Jesus, how would they know what was right?
Having so many examples because of the perfect example, in everything that I do, I take the acronym, WWJD to an extreme-so much so, that some people might even consider it annoying. Even in small projects, I try my best to do as Jesus did. When someone makes fun of me, I think of the thoughtful consideration he had for his enemies. The Golden Rule shines through that gloomy grief of misunderstanding and instant aversion.
The miracles wrought by Jesus' fingertips inspire me every day to make of use of my hands-so the devil won't do it for me. Seeking to tap and fulfill my greatest potential, I desire not to only conquer one musical instrument, but four. I can cook and clean; I can create robots; I can garden; I can paint and draw. But above all, I use my hands to serve. There is no greater joy I get except when I am picking up discarded refuse in a bountiful, yet disregarded nature reserve, or helping my fellow man, devoting my time by reaching out to impoverished individuals with necessities in hand. Because of Jesus, I am proud of my hands and what they can do-someday, maybe I too, can perform miracles.
Because Jesus could speak so fluently, with words that can both strike and calm the heart and soul, despite my former speech impediment and anxiety disorder, I deliberately choose situations in which I am forced to speak. I have acted out plays, giving astounding presentations. Standing on a podium in front of hundreds of my peers, I memorized and articulated my speech for my Student Council campaign, gaining the courage from when Jesus inspired thousands who sat before his feet. I know that I too, with hard work and perseverance, can do the same.
I can never know how much pain, conflict and sorrow Jesus experienced, faced with opposition since before the day of his birth, assuring that the path of perfection is never free of obstacles and complications. But what I do know is that like him, I am capable of surpassing all expectations, and reaching for perfection. Though I am far from attaining it now, I will never give up trying. I have been blessed beyond my comprehension, and at the acme of influence and interaction, I have Jesus to thank. It has been through Him that so many have made a difference and it is through him that I know that I, too, will change the world.
This is a wonderful essay! It was captivating, enlightening, and grammatically flawless. I too am a follower of Christ, and I love the way that you described Him in this! You also brought just enough of you into it, as to show the kind of person that you are. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and based on this essay, I don't think you will have any problem getting into college!
Great job!
