Hello ;
Here's my response to Stanford Supplement's question : "What matters to you and why ? "
Please point out any wordines, grammar, and ponctuation errors. Thanks a lot !
"Determination". The very strong will to always go forehead and give our best, heading to the top on our path to excellence. I've never been afraid of shooting the moon, and doing so is of such relevance to me that it has become a sort of necessary axiom to every single one of my moves. The very deep belief that we would end up being the best is what, according to me, leads us to this so-desired position.
Winston Churchill once said: "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." This quote has always been of a great inspiration; it epitomizes one set of values that matter a lot to me. Thus, I believe that one should never give up on his dreams and aspirations, no matter how impossible they seem to fulfill. Throwing the sponge is the worst thing one can do for himself.
For instance, a few weeks ago, my math and physics teachers suggested that I participate in the "Concours GĂŠnĂŠral", a very competitive French exam, rewarding the most talented students (Each year, every teacher picks some of his students that he feels can succeed in this contest). They highlighted the abominably brilliant aspect of this exam, telling me that the questions asked each year are close to impossible to answer. My math teacher even handed me a topic that was considered "easy" and on which I spent hours to eventually come up with the knack that would help solve the problem. Even my teachers told me that on some questions, they happen to completely dry up. I knew that once they sign me up to this prestigious contest, I would enter a sinuous road, hard to cross, but not impossible.
So, how could I say "no" and not take this huge opportunity to show what I'm worth even if it meant additional hours of hard-work and preparation?
Both of my teachers eventually signed me up, in addition to my English teacher. So, here am I, preparing for three "Concours gĂŠnĂŠraux" as knowing that nothing is grated, but still doing my best to reach the top.
Therefore, what matters to me is to fight to achieve our really ambitious goals. As Brian Littrel said: "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
I think forehead is supposed to be forward lol. Doing so is of such relevance is awkward maybe you could say so much that doing so
has become a necessary...etc. I think this so-desired position should be that so-desired position. I don't think the for instance is necessary and think you should just lead into your example without it. At the end nothing is grated should be nothing is granted. I see what matters to you but I don't really see the why. Your example shows your determination but why are you determined to face your goals? Did someone influential teach you that? Did a certain experience make you gain determination from then on? If so, I think you should include that and cut a little out of your French exam example. I hope I helped you a little :) It would be great if you could edit my common app essay too thanks :)
