I have developed, as a person boosted with self-confidence, motivation and respect - UBC Essay

Tell us more about one of the activities you listed above, explaining what your goals were, what you did to pursue them, the results achieved, and what you learned in the process. (maximum 200 words)

Volunteer tutoring has always been a subject of interest. I am currently involved in teaching underprivileged students at a local school since July 2014. The main goal is to share and spread knowledge among students as much as I can and I am impelled by the desire to help others.

One of the major challenges I faced was to simplify and present the words to children and help them grasp things easily. As a teacher, it is important to interact with each student all the time treating the whole class as a unit. The first week was quite uneasy for me but as I came to know more about students in my class, I was able to present myself in a better way. It was not just a matter of teaching books but also about developing as a person in whole. In today's world, verbal skills matter a lot. Activities like debates, quizzes, and elocutions were an integral part of my personal way of teaching.

Currently I have 20 students in my class heading towards a rapid improvement. I have developed, as a person boosted with self-confidence, motivation and respect and it is a proud feeling to have.

"The main goal is to share and spread knowledge among students as much as I can and I am impelled by the desire to help others."

-Rephrase this sentence or make it into two sentences.

Personally, I try to avoid the word "thing"; try using the word "concepts" or "ideas" instead.

The ending is a bit weak. The last sentence sounds awkward, so I would suggest rephrasing so it fits better with the rest of the essay.

Good Luck!

Can you suggest me a better ending?

In today's world, verbal skills are important, so I have made it a point to to incorporate debates, quizzes, and elocutions into my teaching.

For your ending, I would suggest talking about the type of learning environment you have created then end with the phrase " and as a result my students are getting closer to reaching their full potential." or something along those lines.

What they asked you to do, was to Tell them more about one of the activities you listed above, explaining what your goals were, what you did to pursue them, the results achieved, and what you learned in the process. i think it will be better if we break it down.

Tell us more about one of the activities you listed above: i assume you listed volunteering.
explaining what your goals were: what i got from the text was that your goal as a tutor volunteer is to share and spread knowledge among students as much as you can.

what you did to pursue them: by simplifying and presenting the words to children and help them grasp things easily.
the results achieved: that's the thing i didn't really saw very clear on this text, did you achieved your goals as a volunteer tutor? were you able to simplify and present the words to children in order to help them grasp things easily? universities want to see that you achieve the goals you put for yourself.

And what you learned in the process: i know is there, but is not as clear as it should be. i'm my humble opinion.

Another observation:

Because of the "and and" presented in this sentence: One of the major challenges I faced was to simplify and present the words to children and help them grasp things easily. i would rewrite it like: One of the major challenges I faced was to simplify and present the words to children in order to help them grasp things easily.

Thabk you so much! ! :))

I think you should talk more about what you learned in this process.