Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
I am not the diary-keeping type of guy, but since I got the job from my current college to blog my life in the freshman year, I am so glad that I have been keeping journals for almost half a year. Looking back what I have written, I notice that for a long time my life has been such a rigidly scheduled routine that I have overlooked so many fascinating details in life. In one of my post, I wrote about one night: I somehow looked up at the sky, and I was so amazed by the countless shining stars. I don't even remember when was the last time I lifted my head and enjoyed looking at the charming jewels right above my head. Overtime I was so used to not appreciate the pulchritude within my reach that I've been in the city for over 4 months, yet never once lifted my head. Life is full of beauties but we, more often than not, lack of the acute discernment to recognize them. Simply stop for a minute and take a look around us; we'll be amazed by what we've been missing.
This is the first draft. Please give me advice in all aspects, including grammar, vocabulary, content, main idea, details.... Please, I want to transfer to harvard, so I must have an extraordinary essay. Thank you all for helping!! I will return the favor!!
"pulchritude": It doesn't really fit with the essay, feels forced.
"but since I got the job from my current college" : but since I was asked by my current college to publish a freshman blog documenting my life, I've enjoyed...
Don't tell Harvard that you are living a "rigid" or "scheduled" life, just talked about how keeping a journal has opened your eyes.
Make the journal entry a quote, and put it in its own paragraph.
"In one of my post, that I wrote about one night": Looking back, there is one particular post that sums up my experience this semester
Good luck at Harvard!
(please check out my essay below)
