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DICKINSON C SUPPLEMENT (SCIENCES& ARTS)


ayida365 7 / 33  
Oct 29, 2009   #1
PROMPT:
Dickinson College founder, statesman and physician Benjamin Rush wrote several essays on education for this new nation. Listed below are three of Rush's philosophies. Choose ONE and explain how that philosophy relates to your talents, goals and the reasons you chose to apply to Dickinson.

*Dickinson students shall pursue a useful education in the arts and sciences.

In the hall of arts and sciences, it can be said that what I have done is to pursue an atmosphere of education, in which I can realize my value and dream.

Science is like coffee. It may taste bitter at first because of its difficulty. However, after several sips, one cannot resist its lingering aroma. When I feel dejected, it arouses my spirit; when I long for a change, it provides countless flavors (there is no limit in learning). Math is my favorite subject in sciences; dissecting problems with different perspectives challenges my knowledge and creativity and fills me with excitement and proud. In math field my biggest interest is in statistics, since it applies to psychology, my intended major. Therefore, in class, imaging myself using the skill to design experiments and gain essential facts in the future, I always feel a passion in my heart. I have found human biology fascinating, too. In lessons, I am always amazed when learning about the complex nervous system and the infinite potential of the brain. I tend to respond like Hermione Granger, unwilling to miss any points as they allow me to have the basic understanding of humans when later majoring in psychology. At the end of that term, my biology score ranked top in my class.

Therefore, I am attracted to the great academic programs at Dickinson College: the impressive study abroad and study off-campus programs expand the boundaries of my learning, and ample resources facilitate my study. After education, my goal is to become a psychologist, curing hurts from people's hearts.

Art is my cup of tea; it brings me ease and lightheartedness; when I am blue, it consoles me; most importantly, I can share its aroma with others.

Literature is my fantasy. I love the way writers dealing with words, depicting details, and detecting philosophies from everyday scenes. Every time I read a subtle expression, I cry in surprise. Therefore, reading becomes my recreation, and even the essay assignments turn out to be fun-I often find myself the first to finish them. No wonder I scored the best in Chinese Literature comparing with other subjects. When writing stories, I always laugh or cry with my characters as if I were one of them. Everyday loads of friends listen to me narrating my new comedy. I hope that in the future I can publish my own books (although I have already done that once).

Recently I discovered my talent in language learning, after manipulating Cantonese in 2 weeks with a very recreational way (namely listening to the radio, singing songs, and watching movies); before that, I could not understand or speak it at all. Then I went on a 4-day trip to Hong Kong and use Cantonese whenever I could. Surprisingly, most people thought I was a native speaker. Encouraged by this experience, I dope out my next plan: learning to speak French within a few months, since France is my first choice when joining the Study Abroad Program in college.

I am crazy about movies, not only because I watch more than ten every week, but I tend to study them. I often watch one scene over 10 times just to realize how the director did the montage. I often take special concern in the scenery choosing, finesse for shooting, and background vocal sounding, understanding their efforts on the audiences; based on these observations, I published a book of film reviews. In college, I plan to take Film Studies minor, polishing my understanding of this fetching art. Consequently, I got pretty exciting hearing that Dickinson College provides such wide range of classes in this program.

My love towards Chinese Arts has never ceased. Chinese paintings allure me with their flamboyance, but after 12 years' drawing, what I adore becomes its margin-leaving, just like the open ending of a novel, quitting while it is ahead and making the aftertaste lingers. That resembles to real life where one always has the space to imagine and to hope. I often show my self-taught Cantonese opera skills to my friends, and they all enjoy it-laughing out loud-not the way I expect, but anyway, I do bring happiness to them, so I still feel satisfied. On Mid-autumn Festival every year, I play Erhu in the school evening party. Along with the smooth music, everyone gazes at the full moon over the deep blue sky, heart drenched with romantic legends; my heart warms as I see their beatific smiles. I have always thought that my knowledge of Chinese arts fulfills its value-entertaining others and delighting myself. Accordingly, I choose Dickinson College, because its special attention on cultural diversity enables me to introduce our culture, and comprehend others'.

Dickinson College fits me. It offers me the useful education, and makes my education useful.
cissylewel 5 / 24  
Oct 29, 2009   #2
i do think you need to focus on several topics. i can't see what exactly you try to talk about. NO OFFENCE```
OP ayida365 7 / 33  
Oct 30, 2009   #3
Ah...That's what I worry the most.
I wanted to say in the essay that I'm versatile in both arts and sciences, and I've got different skills(So I really persued the useful education, and want to get more in the future ). And demonstrate why I would like to join Dickinson...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 31, 2009   #4
Okay, in your introduction paragraph, you should write a little about the essay and cite Rush. It will be super impressive if you put a little "Works Cited" list at the end and have it say:

Rush, Benjamin. name of essay. year.

Make this an essay about his essay, not just about you. Make it about both.

I think you should try to figure out the main idea of the essay -- this one, not the one by Rush. Convey that main idea in the first paragraph. Then talk about it again in the conclusion.

When you talk about wanting to be a psychologist, you can make a better impression if you say what kind -- cognitive therapist, existential therapist, psychoanalyst? Even if you are not sure, choose one in order to show off a little.

The essay is hard to follow because it is about so many different things. The intro paragraph is the place to tell the reader what is coming and how all the subjects relate to the main idea. :)

Good luck!! I look forward to the next draft!!
OP ayida365 7 / 33  
Nov 6, 2009   #5
GEE...I've posted a modified version of this essay just now...And it is now GONE...I've no idea where it is now...Has it been deleted or something? Do I need to repost?
EF_Team [Moderator] 41 / 222 15  
Nov 6, 2009   #6
And it is now GONE...

If you read the instructions below the post form you will notice why it was gone. Not following the rules may also lead to suspension.

EF
OP ayida365 7 / 33  
Nov 6, 2009   #7
OK. I got it. Then I'll post it again under this thread. Sorry for the trouble. And thank you, Team.

PROMPT:
Dickinson College founder, statesman and physician Benjamin Rush wrote several essays on education for this new nation. Listed below are three of Rush's philosophies. Choose ONE and explain how that philosophy relates to your talents, goals and the reasons you chose to apply to Dickinson.

*Dickinson students shall pursue a useful education in the arts and sciences.

------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------

Cosmopolitan People Find Their Home

"There is a photography club recruiting new members; who wants to have a try?"
"Me! I've been expecting it for about two decades." I raised my hand eagerly.
"You," My desk mate whispered in surprise, "you have already been in the orchestra and Drama Club, why bother attending a new?"

"Because I like taking pictures, and it will be very important to me as I plan to learn more about film in college."

"Gee, if you keep your interests growing like this, you will one day explode yourself."

"If you keep your interests growing like this, you will one day explode yourself." That is what people always say to me. Although I have determined to major in psychology, and become a cognitive therapist, my interests spread from sciences to arts, and occupy loads of my time. However, I still can not persuade myself to specialize, because I know that the interesting education of arts and sciences is useful, benefiting both psychology studies and my life, at present and in the future. Science is like coffee. It may taste bitter at first because of its difficulty. However, after several sips, one cannot resist its lingering aroma. If I feel dejected, it arouses my spirit; when I long for a change, it provides countless flavors (there is no limit in learning). Whereas, art is my cup of tea; it brings me ease and consolation; most importantly, I can share its aroma with others.

Math is my favorite subject in sciences; dissecting problems with different perspectives challenges my knowledge and creativity and fills me with excitement and proud. Many of my friends can not understand why I must finish the optional assignments everyday, as they have no clue why I can clap my hands in exultation after solving a puzzling math problem. In math field my biggest interest is in statistics, since it applies to psychology, my intended major. Therefore, in class, imaging myself using the skill to design experiments and gain essential facts in the future, I always feel a passion in my heart.

I have found human biology fascinating, too. In lessons, I am always amazed when learning about the complex nervous system and the infinite potential of the brain. I tend to respond like Hermione Granger, unwilling to miss any points, as they allow me to have the basic understanding of humans when later majoring in psychology. At the end of that term, my biology score ranked top in my class.

Literature is my fantasy. I love the way writers dealing with words, depicting details, and detecting philosophies from everyday scenes. Every time I read a subtle expression, I cry in surprise. Therefore, reading becomes my recreation, and even the essay assignments turn out to be fun-I often find myself the first to finish them. No wonder I scored the best in Chinese Literature comparing with other subjects. When writing stories, I always laugh or cry with my characters as if I were one of them. Everyday loads of friends listen to me narrating my new comedy; good at imitating the different roles' voices and comportment, hardly can I let my stories fall flat. I hope that in the future I can publish my own books (although I have already done that once). Literature and psychology is closely relative; with psychology one can make his/her story convincing, and with literature, one can observe how people feel and act from various characters in books. Consequently, an education in literature is undoubtedly helpful.

Recently I discovered my talent in language learning, after manipulating Cantonese in 2 weeks with a very recreational way (namely listening to the radio, singing songs, and watching movies); before that, I could not understand or speak it at all. Then I went on a 4-day trip to Hong Kong and use Cantonese whenever I could. Surprisingly, most people thought I was a native speaker. Encouraged by this experience, I dope out my next plan: learning to speak French within a few months, since France is my first choice when joining the Study Abroad program in college. However, French is substantial for me not only to study abroad, but also to know more about the philosophy of the world, as Benjamin Rush once wrote, "The French and German languages...They abound with useful books upon all subjects." ("of the Mode of Education Proper in a Republic",1798)

I am crazy about movies, not only because I watch more than ten every week, but I tend to study them. I often watch one scene over and over again just to realize how the director did the montage. I take special concern in the scenery choosing, finesse for shooting, and background vocal sounding, understanding their efforts on the audiences; based on these observations, I published a book about film reviews. In college, I plan to take Film Studies minor, polishing my understanding of this fetching art. Consequently, I got pretty excited hearing that Dickinson College provides such wide range of classes (more than 60 electing courses) in this program. Among those courses, my biggest interests are in "Psychology and Cinema" and "Screen Writing", because the former polishes my ideas in psychology, connecting two subjects together, and the latter improves both my skills in creative writing and film studies.

Therefore, I am attracted by Dickinson College, where I can expand my interests freely. First glimpsing at the "Dickinson Dimensions", I apprehended that Dickinson's character matches mine: I absorb various knowledge from sciences and arts to perfect my life and my learning; Dickinson embraces diverse cultures to help his students engage the world and seek beyond limits. Dickinson provides an extensive sky for me to explore: In campus, I can talk with students from 41 states of America, and 46 countries, tasting different cultures and lifestyles; even eating becomes an opportunity to greet the cultural difference-sitting at different language tables enhances my communication power, enabling me to meet new friends all over the globe. Off campus, I can attend the research of "Cultural Implications of AIDS Prevention" in France, seeking the connections between psychology and social issues, or complete an internship in Washington, D.C., practicing my leadership and skills. These valuable experiences may enrich my mind, develop my interests, and reveal my talents. Moreover, Dickinson's appreciation of languages and cultures demonstrates his toleration and love towards different thoughts, races, and societies, his sensibility of being involved in the world, and his responsibility towards making the earth a better place. In this college, I can explore and embrace the world with confidence, learn to face challenges fearlessly, and perfect myself as a whole person.

Dickinson is cosmopolitan, so am I.
OP ayida365 7 / 33  
Nov 7, 2009   #8
Anybody hereļ¼Ÿ
Ummm...Should I move the citation to the end of the essay?
And, is it too long?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 8, 2009   #9
How about with a question mark:
"You ?" My desk mate whispered...

Maybe ad a comma to help manage this long sentence:
dissecting problems with different perspectives challenges my knowledge and creativity, and it fills me with excitement and pride .

You have an excellent way of writing! Did you grow up speaking English, or did you learn it as a second language? Either way, this is very good writing.

What citation are you talking about... this? Benjamin Rush once wrote, "The French and German languages...They abound with useful books upon all subjects." ("of the Mode of Education Proper in a Republic",1798)----> This citation is good right where it is.

I don't think the essay is too long, but it depends on what the instructions require. You write beautifully. You wrote, "fills me with proud ," so that made me think English might be a second panguage for you; if that is rue, you should indeed be filled with pride, because you write better than many native speakers of English!
OP ayida365 7 / 33  
Nov 8, 2009   #10
Thank you for your advice, Kevin!
Hehe, English is indeed my second language. You are the first one to say my writing (in English of course) is beautiful, ever! Wow...It's really comforting, because I just started to think that I would never write well...

Dickinson College did not mention a words limit.
However, I'm worried that my essay may not be so intriguing, because it doesn't tell a story...
Is it very boring to read an essay like this?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 9, 2009   #11
I found something else:
I take special interest in the...

Yes, you write with nice rhythm. For example, this sentence:
Therefore, in class, imaging myself using the skill to design experiments and gain essential facts in the future, I always feel a passion in my heart. -----> It flows along so nicely, but maybe if English was your native language you would not say "a passion"... just "passion." But rhythmic writing transcends language barriers.


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