I have written 2 responses for the UPenn Introduce Yourself optional essay! It can only be 150 words. Please let me know what idea you like better. Thank you!
Option 1:
If I continued to play the piano, maybe I would be like Beethoven? If I only focused on tennis, maybe I would be like Serena Williams? If I continued taking French lessons, maybe I would be fluent? I use to wish that my parents had pushed me into one field of interest, instead of allowing me to try an abundance of activities. My parents never thought once to stop me from constantly changing my endeavors. Looking back at all the things that I have tried, failed, and completed, I realized that I am lucky to have been able to try so many different activities. My parents allowed me to gain a general knowledge of everything, forcing me to seek out my true passion on my own. By being able to experience various activities and passions, I have been able to come to a better understanding of myself and my abilities.
Option 2:
As a young Indian girl living in America, I walk a fine line between the culture and customs that have been instilled in me by my parents and the other cultures and customs that surround me. Living in an American society has forced me to adapt to parts of the American culture, without losing my traditional Indian roots. However my British heritage is just as important in my life as my Indian and American culture is. My immediate family lives in London, which has forced my family to adapt to British customs. I have learned to adapt to the environment around me, and understand the mannerisms and particular behaviors of people of other cultures and ethnicities. As a well-traveled Indian-American, with a mixture of British and American culture, I believe that I am a worldly person who can understand the different perspectives and mind-sets of people.
Some insight into your Option 1 thing- if you had been forced to choose one set of activities, you may have been mediocre at all of them once you realized you were no longer passionate about them.
Also, I don't think you should use the word "forced" so frequently in Option 2. It makes it seem like you're unwilling to adapt, that you're being pulled into these cultures against your will, and that if you could, you wouldn't interact with these cultures at all.
Alright thank you so much! I didn't think of it that way, but I completely see how someone might (for option 2). Which option do you like better? I want to narrow it down and focus on one, so I can develop it.
I think Option 2, because your ECs and stuff will all show on other parts of your app but your heritage and whatnot won't except in the essays.
It's really hard to choose between the two without having any prior knowledge as to the writing style u are going to employ in each. For instance, the first option can be commenced with a vivid scene from a piano recital that u performed and failed at, thus leading u to question ur parent's motives in subsequent paragraphs.The second one calls for a slightly different appraoch.
It ultimately boils down to what u prioritize more highly;do u want the adcoms to know about your acumen for adapting to different customs and the ease with which u embrace them, or do u want to highlight the increased perception that you gained through your constantly changing endeavours??
One last word of advice though...both the options u have suggested are qiute common and have become something of a cliche in application essays.However, that being said, if u feel as though u can do the topic justice and add a refreshing spin to this over-used idea, i suggest you go for it.I'm applying to Upenn as well...Hope we both get in then...fingers crossed.
