'different cultural background' - Equity and community-Lehigh supplement

No matter how differently you define "Equity" and "Community" in your terms, it still will have the same essence for its meaning. A community always is a group of persons having common interest or goals and equity refers to the power entrusted to each person in the community so that he or she can help their community overcome difficult situations and problems. Only such communities which have passionate and just people in them, can thrive and sustain any testing circumstances. Furthermore, each person in the community should be weighed in as equal and everyone should have fair opportunities to succeed as only these kind of communities leave their mark on the world by achieving their goals and ambitions.

Lehigh University for one, provides various examples of such successful communities comprising within itself. Just the fact that Lehigh has its own Council for Equity and Community for transcending racial and regional boundaries, demonstrates the level of concern the University has for its students from various social or cultural backgrounds. This step of establishing the council shows the principles of just and free thinking that are imparted in the University and tells us how everyone in a community has equal rights and duties, no matter what their status or religion maybe. Such kind of communities where all the differences are celebrated are the most powerful and united ones. The fact that even the alumni of the University are members of the council gives us an idea of how grateful every Lehigh student is towards his or her University and why shouldn't they be, after all it is here that they have learnt how to be a part of a community and what all to do to maintain the integrity and strength of their communities.

All these factors have just strengthened my urge to be a part of this prestigious University as I am now sure that even after my different cultural background, I'll be treated by everyone as one of their own and will be given equal and just opportunities to succeed. Thus Lehigh demonstrates a true example of how strong a community can develop if their is a perfect harmony between its people and everyone exercises their Equity for the overall growth of the community. If admitted, I too will try my level best to maintain the unity of the Lehigh community and try and give back what I really owe to the University.

Nice essay, I like your last sentence. Here are some suggestions;

A community is always a group of persons having common interest or goals and equity that refers to the power entrusted to each person in the community so that he or she can help their community overcome difficult situations and problems. For the sake of clarity, you should break this into two sentences.

...can thrive and survive? any testing circumstances.

Furthermore, each person in the community should be treated as equal...

...no matter what their status or religion may be .

Such kind of communities...

So other than these grammatical errors,is my essay good enough to be submitted?

No matter how differently you define "Equity" and "Community" in your personal understanding of the terms, it they still will have the same essential for its meaning. ----> I don't think this is a true statement. They do not mean the same thing, but you can say:

...they still will have a close relationship.

I think it will work if you make that change.

I'm writing my Lehigh essay too, isn't this too long to be submitted? You only have 1000 characters.