Please Review and revise
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
One of the things I was able to accomplish during my undergraduate years was to overcome my fears of public speaking. At a young age, I was an introverted and nervous person. It was very difficult to talk to peers or to deliver speeches to fellow classmates. Yet, due to my diligent and stoic nature, I was able to overcome this obstacle.
In high school, I used to remember when I took many AP courses and that I had to do many speeches and presentations. Speaking to a large group of students was a daunting task. The timing and oral presentation had to be nearly perfect and I would often perform poorly on this. Many of my friends told me that I would mumble, move around nervously, and stutter. Unluckily for me, I was not able to solve this problem until I attended college.
It was a requirement for graduation to take a speech class. I was horrified at the thought of being graded primarily on speeches. However, something motivated me to work hard in this class. Mentally, I thought that college was a new opportunity to learn from mistakes and to improve upon those. Thus, I practiced numerous times to improve my presentations. My professor thought I was one of his top students and even recommended me to the speech and debate team. I could not refuse this opportunity, so I joined. The speech and debate team strengthened my communication skills. I was proud that I could communicate to any audience without being nervous.
When I overcame my fears of speaking, I realized that my diligence and willingness to learn from mistakes could help me overcome any obstacle I encounter. Furthermore, my friends now think of me as an energetic and intelligent leader.
One meaningful accomplishment from my undergraduate years was to overcome my fears of public speaking.
I kept thinking back to high school, when I took many AP courses and had to do many speeches and presentations.
This is great; it fulfills the prompt very well! Those changes above improve efficiency and clarity.
Good Luck!
Kevin
"Many of my friends told me that I would mumble, move around nervously, and stutter."
The above sentence either needs to be reworded or a bit more context needs to be added so I know where you are coming from. Without modification, the sentence here seems a little out of place.
I agree with all the comments EF_Kevin gave on the piece.
otherwise, great job! short and concise!
good luck!
I'd really appreciate it if you could look over mines too.
