Hello! I know that the essay I have written is not typical, but I hope that it works for the readers.
I'm a little worried that it doesn't show enough about me, and I'm also not sure about whether I should leave the first paragraph in.
DL is my name, I just abbreviated it for this website.
For the prompt, I chose "topic of your choice".
Thank you so much for the help!
The outrageous nature of celebrity gossip and the ferocity with which icons are harassed is laughable, as humorous as the daily comments I receive about my dimples. I sometimes wonder whether people value my "cute" dimples more than they do me.
DLD GOSSIP
#1 Juicy Celebrity Gossip site chronicling all about DL's Dimples
05.23.99 Mutant Child: Aliens descend and impart "gifts"
Theories about the origins of Deanna Loh's dimples abound. One German housewife claims that she was with Deanna when aliens abducted them and marked an infant Deanna Loh with the signs of "the chosen one". Upon questioning those who have met the young girl, however, the only comment we received was that she smelled of spoiled eggs. It was later discovered that the source of the odor came not from aliens, but from a Kleenex inexplicably lodged in her left nostril for three months. Perhaps this more than others reflects Deanna Loh's ability to tolerate discomfort and malady far beyond the capacities of other children. This does not, however, explain from whence the mystifying dimples came.
03.14.09 A New Face
Deanna Loh's dimples have been a boon to the plastic surgery industry - zealots have rushed to get the darling look that is the talk of the town. Actress Meryl Streep remarks, "Times have changed. In my day, women had plastic surgery to get rid of wrinkles!"
Deanna Loh, however, shuns the historically "cute" portrayal of her dimples. The dimples are inclined to appear at every twitch of the mouth, to which Deanna exclaims, "The dimples make building a reputation for solemnity unfeasible. While interviewing hospital volunteer candidates, in my efforts to intimidate, I was labeled 'the nice one!'" The trivial nature with which her peers regard her, a consequence arising from a disconcerting stereotype centered on gender, ethnicity, modest height, and a dimpled mien, exasperates Deanna. Thus, she has announced her campaign to shed the girlish image, a proclamation made in conjunction with the unveiling of her appearance in the serious drama "The Young Adult". Select scenes from the semi-autobiographical film will depict the dimples pursing over a hemorrhaged mouse spleen, taking on a life of their own with an oration on homelessness, and chewing over the contents of The Communist Manifesto. We anticipate a raging success for the film - at college campuses and artistic hubs, or at least among people who know her well.
10.08.25 Dimplegate Scandal!
Iron-hot controversy erupts over leaked photos of Deanna Loh's nude dimples. Critics deem the powder-less dimples as "the epitome of uncouth behavior" and "surpassing Watergate in abomination". The American Nudist Association rallies in support and sympathy of Deanna Loh's fight for naturalism, pronouncing her its official spokeswoman. "Why exacerbate the media's pernicious endorsement of self-loathing among young women?" Deanna asserts, "Experience has shown me that the impulse to distort oneself begins with the external and then steadily infiltrates the very core of one's identity. I am as how I present myself."
02.18.34 Priceless: A Dimple's Worth
Beauty fades quickly in Hollywood, but Deanna Loh's dimples continue to hold their envied shine and luster. When Marie Claire inquired what her secret was, Deanna denied doing anything to maintain her youthful features and candidly stated, "While others might amass eclectic collections of posh oil-in-water emulsions, I regard them as products of society's delusion that consumerism and materialism align with the 'American Dream.' Quite frankly, I would rather tend to my friends than to my appearance." DLD Gossip knows better, though, and we have conducted a rigorous investigation to unveil Deanna's close-kept secrets:
Sleep irregularly and infrequently - hormone fluctuation and stress give your dimples that gorgeous ruddy look. Deanna has redefined the term "beauty sleep" - an enraptured reading of Toni Morrison's Beloved or Anthony Burgess' A Clockwork Orange replaces the classic REM cycle.
Fashion magazines? Make-up guides? Trash them. Deanna mysteriously shuns all reads related to maintaining any form of physical decency. Instead, she wrinkles her brow in contemplating a New York Times article on health care, chuckles over a Charles Addams comic, or shouts at computer screens: "Why should it even matter whether Obama is Muslim or Christian?!"
Smile frequently to keep dimples fit and trim. Deanna spontaneously smiles at the hospital security guard or the Vietnamese immigrant at the DMV, eliciting the guard's recollection of invigorating army days or the immigrant's struggle with changing demographics. These now former strangers, it seems, become Deanna's good friends with a flash of that intriguing, sincere dimple.
11.29.71 In Loving Memory
Deanna Loh's dimples at last surrendered to the enshrouding wrinkle and sag of still fabulous cheeks on Tuesday. Deanna released a statement this morning: "My dimples meant many things to other people; they were beacons of optimism, symbols of innocence, enigmatic gifts from supposed extraterrestrials. Yet, I have always felt that my dimples and my appearance do not define me. Rather, I hope that it is my sincerity and desire to connect with those around me that reflect upon how my family and friends perceive me. My dimples have wrinkled and faded, but the relationships I have established, the loving people around me, remain."
Your essay is very well-written and unique but I think it's odd and quirky. If this lighthearted, humorous feel is what you're going for (which it certainly has; dimplegate scandal..hahahah), then this is a great essay. I just don't think this essay reveals that much about you; if it does, the essay reveals more about you in the style of writing than it does in content.
This is actually the best admissions essay I've read so far! It says a great deal about your character (funny, you don't take yourself too seriously, yet you're also intelligent and a fantastic writer) as well as some of your interests (reading- I have to agree with you; Middlesex kept me up for several nights as I plowed through it). This essay seemed similar to the spoof essay about the most interesting kid in the world (ending with-I have not, however, been to college) in that it says more about you through your writing syle than through the facts. And, I think that this is really going to stand out in the admissions process. Excellent work!
Thank you for all the feedback everyone! :)
@angelusfanatic: I chose "topic of your choice". I tried to make it a spoof of those humorous celebrity gossip websites/blogs (with the celebrities in question being my dimples). Like ah...while writing the essay, I thought of perezhilton.com, the nipple scandal with Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl, the popularity of plastic surgery amongst celebrities, old rags that make up outrageous stories about the origins of such and such, and fashion magazine articles that give tips for makeup and good looks.
