I appreciate any suggestions on this essay! Thanks so much!
Here's the prompt:
How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying. (400-650 words)
I'm currently at 620 words
As Plato said, "The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future in life." To abide by this quote, I want to find the best university that will enable me to reach my aspirations in life. For me, this is Penn. This is the College of Arts and Sciences. The unlimited research opportunities and extraordinary staff that are present at this school would work as accelerants to further my goals to discover new drugs, save lives through research, and fulfill my role in society.
As crazy as it may sound, I keep a list of unanswered questions that perplex me. A few of these include: did humans always evolve with weapons and have no real need for physiological defenses? how do the physics of smell work? how different would our country be if we'd just listened to Washington and stayed away from a two-party system? These are just the tip of the iceberg. By the time I graduate university, I'm hoping to have my questions answered - or at least thoroughly discussed.
If you encountered me at school - my "natural habitat" - you'd find me incredibly organized and detail-oriented, with each of my 13-tab folders carefully labeled. These attributes will assist me in pursuing a career in research. I discovered this passion at one of my Duke TiP programs a few summers ago. Here, my teammates and I "discovered" a theoretical cure for Ebola. Countless unknowns waiting to be unearthed inspire me to get involved. Without a background in actual laboratory research, each new experience is essential to me, and the opportunities that Penn harbors in this region are incomparable. Programs such as CURF and student-faculty research would expand my awareness and view into the many facets of research. In turn, this knowledge would allow me to pinpoint my area of interest within the broader field. These invaluable hands-on experiences would guide me towards a future and career that I'm passionate about.
Teachers shape the student. Inspiring science teachers in middle school and lively math teachers in high school fostered my love for STEM subjects. A continuation of this passion would be readily available at Penn through the PIK program which encourages students to explore a variety of subjects and ties together each of the undergraduate schools in a unique way. My interest is peaked by a vast assortment of subjects, making this program beneficial to my other interests such as environmental science and politics. This synthesis would provide me with an integrated education and create a realistic web of subjects necessary to excel in today's world. Discussions inside and outside of the classroom are encouraged through the faculty directors who live alongside the students in dorms. Simple acts of unity such as these show the excitement tied to learning by everyone on campus. All of these aspects are reinforced in student reviews: nearly every one mentions the wonderful faculty they have had the privilege of interacting with. With such outstanding teachers, students have no limits. I'd love to seize this opportunity and begin to discuss my endless questions with these great professors.
If I were to attend Penn, I can only imagine where life will take me. The location, culture, students, and programs would allow me to immerse myself in an environment of diversity and knowledge to define a path where I will succeed in every aspect of my life, personally and professionally. More importantly, Penn would answer my questions. Not only would this university answer my current questions, but it would encourage me to continue asking more and more of them. I aspire to hold on to this curiosity throughout my lifetime and experience life as a time of endless learning and a series of unanswered questions.
Dear rwelles, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses,
I want to find the best university that will ... -->
My intention to enter the best university is to help in achieving my aspirations in life-->you have to use proper words as you want show how strong your plan to enter this univeristy
For me, this is Penn. This is ... -->
I personally prefer to join Arts and Sciences of Penn University[/i]
The unlimited research opportunities and extraordinary staff ...
The reasons for this are unlimited research opportunities and extraordinary staff that are present at this school would accelerate in assisting my goals of discovering new types of drug, saving lives by conducting researches, and fulfilling my role in society.
Hope it helps you to improve your essay,
Regards
