Disclaimer: this is an essay for a art college I want to go to and not going to say which school but please fix any grammar, change my spelling choice from ok to GREAT, fix run one and sentences, just fix anything and it will just really help and I appreciate it :)
Throughout my life, I could never believe how I survived when I was little because I was born premature along with my twin. I was treated badly in school because I was Asian and my dad always often traveled so it was just my mom taking care of me, my twin, and my brother. I was scared to show who I really was because I knew kids in school would tear me down no matter what I liked or do. For me, discovering art in kindergarten appealed me in such manner that made me want to start doing art right away. My mom did not have enough money to pay for art classes because she was saving money for my education so I dreamed of learning more about different kinds of art and that was until I reached middle school where I took art electives in school.
My life was still rough because I was dealing with a lot of issues going on in my family, my grades, and friends leaving me, but art was my passion and I was finally waiting for the chance to pursue my dreams. Doing art was the only thing that made me go through the struggles that I had and in the middle of sixth grade, there was a jewelry class every Monday after school I begged my mom to sign me up for it. I remember when I first walked into the classroom, it fascinated me so much that I would always stay longer to finish the pieces I would make. Jewelry was a career I knew I wanted to succeed in. By high school, I felt like I had proven myself to my family, teachers, friends, and principal of what I was really capable of. I took different kinds of art classes in school, but outside of class I was still waiting for the opportunity for my jewelry career to happen.
Art has always been something that I would give up everything to work for, having fun doing it, and believe that it will show people the true nature. I know that I belong at with SCAD because I will show good citizenship to each individual and will show ambition to my work in all types of classes. My goal is to pursue a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree in Jewelry at SCAD because I know it is the perfect college to educate and push me to go far in life with whatever I want to do. Also, I want to come out as an excellent artist with confidence knowing I will go far in my road. Savannah cares and provides students with an environment that allows them to show their creativity. My admission at SCAD will allow me to experience more with my skills and help me grow as a strong individual. Overall, SCAD would be a place where I can contribute many factors and carry everything I have learned in this world into the art environment.
1st Paragraph
- ...dad always often...
(two time adjectives are contradicting, pick one.)
3rd Paragraph
- ...leaving me, (stop/dot) But art...
- ...that I had and in the middle of sixth ...
(i don't think it is a good idea to put these sentences together, i suggest you separate it "... that I had (stop/dot) In the middle of sixth grade...")
I need to point that you used the word "art" so many times. Maybe you could make the essay with a bit variation, for example you could express that you like to draw, good with your hands (crafting), or maybe define what art means to you..
I can see from the essay that you really want to go to SCAD though, which is great in my opinion.
Good luck on your application!
