DISCOVERING BLISS ...
When I was 15, I went to housing facility for senior citizens for the first time on the insistence of my grandmother. Well, it was not that I didn't like talking about them. Several speeches that won me certificates were on plight of the elderly. Thinking that seeing the reality would provide me with lively examples to write during exams or next time I am on stage, I thought it to be an excellent idea. So, I decided to go with her. It was still winter and my body was freezing. Nervousness filled chills all over me and my face was completely red for mixed emotions were flowing in my body. My grandmother loved visiting the housing. She said she received satisfaction when she distributed food and clothes to them as they were the same age as she but were abandoned by their children. However, I was quite reluctant with the idea in the beginning because I never imagined myself hanging around with people who were more than thrice my age.
Unexpectedly, the real experience was quite different. Their living conditions were miserable. Undoubtedly, their health was deteriorating but tTheir lifestyle and their sanitation were in such a poor condition that I ended up crying several timescouldn't stop tears flowing from my eyes. Despite all the odds that they faced, I could still see the glimmer of happiness they had in their eyes when they received got food and clothes. Little bit of happiness was enough for them in order to cherish their life. Although people become bit verytoo sympathetic when they see abandoned aged elderlypeople, it was clear that they longed for love and not sympathy. They needed someone who was compassionate and would act on the compassion and not those, who could feel their pain not shallow-heads who expressed words of sympathy when they pass by and never do anything about the situationlook back.
While returning home, I had a lump on my throat. I barely talked to my grandmother. I was thinking about the times when I had said hurtful things million times when I had hurtto my parents for not fulfilling my request on time. A million times I acted rude when they gave more attention to my brother instead of me. A zillion times I made fun of them when they spoke broken English. In the end, I thought of the times when they praised me in front of all the relatives when I scored 95 in mathematics during the final exam or when I got the best achiever award for getting the first position in my 10th grade send-up examination when I was in 10th standard. I felt a sense of guilt in my heart and thought promised myself that I would never disrespect my parents. That day, I realized that whatever the children thought of their parents, they always thought their children to be their assets, the greatest and the most priceless that they could ever own. But some children forget what their parents sacrifice for them and leave them just because they are a burden to their busy life.
After coming home, I revised what I did during the whole day. I could feel goosebumps in my arms. Life was easy for me until then, but now I had second thoughts about having fun all day with friends, playing pranks on each other, updating facebook status to counteract boredom. They were not at all life! Life was something fragile, which would pass away with time. I remembered what Shakespeare had said, "World is a stage, life is a drama, we all are actors and god is the director." Then I thought if life really is a drama then why not color it beautifully and become a praiseworthy actor. Why become a hedonist if you can opt for something different, something worthwhile.
Soon I was admitted to Budhanilkantha School for my high school. In my high schoolI wanted to use every opportunity to engage in social service., I thought of doing something for the ones who need it. The first step I took was participating in a blood donating program. It was for a cancer patient. It was painful yet satisfying. After that my parents encouraged me to do more for others. There were endless oOpportunities were on my way. I was selected as a teacher for 'Minimal Invasive Education Plan' which was aimed for the students who didn't have money for tuition. We gave them extra classes, organized poem competitions and cleaning programs for them and when they said "Thank-you didi" ('didi' "sister" ins a Nepali word for sister) in their innocent voices we used to be gratified. The happiness and the satisfaction I got received was something magical which I never felt before not even stronger than the time when I received distinction (a type of honors) in my 10th grade exams got distinction with 84. 4% in S.L.C. examination or the time when I got my first bicycle. after longing months for it.
Now after Ttwo years after my first visit to the of the incident of the old age home for the elderly, when I think of myself, I notice that I have changed sigificantlyfind a changed me. Hopeless, yet I am more hopeful that I will make a difference and do something worthwhile, I dream. I dream a dream for accomplishing my dreams. Lastly, I am not after "success" in the way is it narrowly defined in my communitynow. I am after the excellence that I can attain could get to gain eternal peace when I die- an excellence for which success is just a path. I have heard somewhere, "you can get as mad as a mad dog at the way things went, you could swear, curse the fate but in the end you have to let go." But I would like to add something to it- before I let go, I will have to do something to create my own niche so I can help the people I have grown up with, I will have to create a difference so that I could reach high up the sky and when I let go I let go with satisfaction and pride.
