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paddybear97 2 / 1 1  
Dec 28, 2017   #1
Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

Even now, while I am typing those words, I cannot believe that I am writing an essay to apply for a scholarship. This is the thing; I have never done this before because I thought I definitely would fail. I am just a normal student, no excellent scholastic achievements, no IELTS or TOEFL certificates, so what makes me a great participant?


I am curious about everything. While at university, I found that I was very interested in marketing. I asked myself what the customers think, how big companies, like Coca-Cola, could make advertising campaigns that are so impressive and creative. Such things motivated me to study more about marketing, especially the media. From that, I started as a business student, without basic knowledge of media, to become the head of media department of my faculty. I developed our fan page on Facebook. Because of this, the number of likes increased from about 300 to almost 4000. This page is visited by not only students of our department, but by many people on and off campus. I also worked in media teams for some programs from big companies, such as Nestles Management and Sales Trainee Program 2017. Currently, I work as an intern for social media team of 7 Bridges Brewing company, which is famous in the expatriate community in Vietnam. Albert Einstein said: "Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance, and self-criticism", and I think I am a good example of that quote. However, I do not want to see no further than the end of my nose. I want to study and improve myself. That is one reason why I am applying to UGRAD. In addition, I am curious about the USA - a diverse country, racially and ethnically. I am curious how Vietnamese people live there. I am curious and I want to see America with my own eyes. I think that the tons of questions about America in my head will have the answers if I am a participant.

I am curious about myself. I am now 20 years old. There are still a lot of things that I have not discovered me. But I used to be so shy due to the thoughts of failure and people laughing. They prevented me from expressing myself. Then one day, I watched a video about Jack Ma. He applied for Harvard University and was rejected ten times, although he knew he would be. It made me realize that it is better to fail in something than to do nothing and do not know if I can succeed. Now, I am very self-motivated and not afraid of failure. I take my chances and assume the risks. I attend many activities and explore what I can do. Then I found I am good at photography. I have a gallery on Instagram and people really like it. I believe that UGRAD will be a good chance to help me know more about myself.

In conclusion, Walt Disney had a quote: "We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

With curiosity, I succeed in career and in exploring myself.
With curiosity, I will be a great participant in Global UGRAD.
jennrobin23 - / 3 3  
Dec 28, 2017   #2
I am a big fan of this essay! The message is great overall.
In the beginning when you say how you are a normal student, maybe instead say something like you make look like a normal student but something powerful separates you from the rest.

In the first paragraph say "From that, I started as a business student without a basic knowledge of media and rose to become the head of the media department of my faculty."

Maybe say "United States of America" instead of USA.
Finishing the paragraph, maybe say," The tons of questions I have about of America will be answered if I am a participant in the Global UGRAD program.

In the third paragraph, do not begin the sentence with "But", just say "I used to be so shy etc.."
Later in the sentence say "I participate in many activities etc. instead of "attend"
Then you could say, "For instance, I have found that I am good at photography." instead of "Then I found..."
Finish the paragraph with "I believe UGRAD will be a good chance to help me learn more about myself."
Don't say "In conclusion," and say, "Walt Disney once said, etc."

Again it is a great essay! Good luck with the application.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,194 3644  
Dec 29, 2017   #3
Phong, the UGrad candidate essay needs to be balanced between your personal interest in the program and your ability to help enhance the participation experience of your group during the semester. It would be great for your essay if you can balance your curiosity about the US/USA/America (whichever of the 3 are acceptable) with something that you know people from America might be curious about with regards to Vietnam. How might you combine the two curiosities to help create a diverse and unique experience during the semester not only for yourself, but for the other participants as well? So aside from your personal and academic objectives, you can improve the essay further by presenting a social objective that promotes cross cultural understanding and international relationship between Vietnam and the United States through the relationships you can build with the participants and your schoolmates. Go beyond curiosity to represent some other aspects of your personality that might make you a great participant. It won't be difficult to do once you focus on the main objective of the UGrad program in your response.