Discovery - What attracts you to Duke? - Duke University essay

If you are applying to the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences as a first year applicant, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you? (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)

the opportunity to discover yourself

What attracts me to Duke is its inherent belief that a university is not just a place where people go to study, but an environment where students are allowed the opportunity to discover who they are and where they belong in this world. With Duke, I hope to be able to achieve a healthy balance between student life and academics through challenging classes that are complemented by the social environment, student organizations, research opportunities, and civic engagement programs. Aside from academia, I want to pursue experiences that push me to apply classroom-based knowledge and skills to real-life fields. Through the DukeEngage program, I can take part in projects that directly impact communities and explore places outside my comfort zone.

I am excited at the prospect of being part of this vibrant, spirited, and passionate student body and looking forward to seeing the Blue Devils play live!

Feedback is appreciated!

@sleepyshamrocks
Hi. Thanks for approaching the forum! Here is my feedback.

While I appreciate the general topic you were trying to introduce, I find that the writing itself was still disorganized. If you're trying to introduce a very specific idea as the core value of the writing, it would be better if you had done this consistently in the writing. For instance, in this specific writing, try to mention that the out-of-the-box activities are the reasons why you are enticed to be a part of the program. In that regard, you could have stuck with this instead of mentioning that this is a self-discovery method. Doing this would have it more in relation to something that's more specific to the university/college rather than to yourself.

Apart from this, the concluding remark could have been omitted, especially since it isn't necessarily essential. Try sticking with what's being asked from you. If you can, here is a part where you can mention a specific student organization that you want to partake in. This would make the writing a lot more consistent.