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Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a new understanding of yourself.


pdaka1 2 / -  
Sep 20, 2017   #1
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Admission essay: common application



The sky lied naked without clouds. The sun was 90 degrees from the ground with its most scorching heat heating the roof of the hut I was resting in after a long day of farm work. As I was resting, there was such a great silence, and a small still voice was head within my head, "who am I?

I reasoned with my confused mind, melodies of chronicles of my thoughts roared through my amplified reasoning as I tried to comprehend who I am. Some say I am Barack Obama, some say I am Isaac newton while other say I am the author and the voice of the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible, but all the same I am a writer, a philosopher, a business man, a charismatic leader, an inventor, and a preacher of the gospel of Christ Jesus.

I fill many roles and I have such varied interests that sometimes I am not sure who I am. I describe such confusion and feeling best as a man rolling varied stones least he finds a diamond beneath one of the stones. In such uncertainty, I describe myself as a searcher. I view my search as a concerted search, looking for an identity and answers in many diverse and interesting activities I do along the journey of life.

I am a searcher. This was as the result of being raised in a family of five children and the only boy and the last born in the family. My family believes in gender equality in doing home chores: washing dishes, cooking, sweeping the house, doing laundry, fixing broken appliances, and gardening. Among other things, my family affirm and promote free and independent choice for career path. My upbringing installed in me a sense of moral responsibility. It taught me the meaning of service, gender equality and the importance of respect. What has shaped me the most, though, is the ideal of an "independent choice for career path". My family, or rather my parents teaches that choice of career path should be made individually through consideration of diverse input.

In my search I turn to everything for input: academic, extracurricular and community activities. I have participated in JETS (Junior Engineers Technicians Scientists) club fair were I got a bronze medal. I also participated in math, press, chess, environmental clubs competitions, in sports activities under volleyball and netball provincial high school competition, and in youth entrepreneurship at Zanikachinga under community activities. My most meaningful experiences, though, have being inviting things under JETS club and interactions with other people via club competitions. Through JETS club, I have come to know the fun and reality of science in practical sense. I am very social and outgoing person. I enjoy having different friends because I am given the opportunity to see from diverse perceptions.

This search for "who I am" is something I hope to continue for the rest of my life. Already it has made me a socially aware person. I hope never to stop learning, never to stop youth curiosity, and never stop showing and sharing my confusion, because each new experience I meet is a shared opportunity to learn. Perhaps by rolling various stones I will find a diamond, or perhaps not. In the end, it is not the diamond I am interests in so much as enjoying the search.

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Sep 20, 2017   #2
Patson, what you have written is perfect for an open topic essay discussion in the common app prompt since you are allowed to create your own prompt and discussion topic for that portion. This essay that you wrote does not work for the prompt that you chose to write it for because there is no actual event that is being referred to which would have helped create a better idea regarding this self realization that you speak of in the essay. I will admit that I find the essay that you wrote to be rather engaging and heartfelt. Therefore, I do not suggest that you delete the essay. Rather, I would suggest that you change the prompt to the open topic one instead and write a better essay that depicts and event, the effect it had on you, and the new understanding of yourself that stemmed from that experience.

Sometimes, essays write themselves and it is the essay that chooses the prompt it will respond to. That is what happened here with your essay. So don't get rid of it, use it for the correct prompt and if you wish to, develop a better suited essay for this other prompt that you chose.


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