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Prompt: Discuss a popular stereotype that you believe people might have about YOU. Explain


justagirl 1 / 1  
Oct 6, 2020   #1
hey, I'm applying to Yale Young Global Scholars this year and would love to get some feedback on my essay. I'm not a native english speaker so there might be some mistakes.

my "Soft Power"



A rainy afternoon, hot chocolate, and a book to devour. That is where my mind automatically drifts away to when I envision happiness. When I was a little kid, I carried all my favorite books with me. What if the world suddenly ceased to exist and all my belongings tragically vanished? Would I be supposed to just go on and live without my most precious items?

I am what many people refer to as an "introvert". I analyze the world around me, I listen closely during conversations, but mostly, I think. I think about ways I can help my community transition from a patriarchal society to a more equal, accepting environment. I think about youngs girls just a few countries below me having to go through Female Genital Mutilation. I think about ways we can cut down our carbon emissions and create sustainable cities where the economy can thrive without harming our planet. I think about ways we can narrow the inadmissible disparities between the world's multi-billionaires and poor communities living on the edge of famine. My mind brims with ideas and prototypes, dreams and ambitions, and of course, a plan to execute them.

Alas, many see introversion as an antonym of leadership. They associate loudness with power and success with appropriation.
I have long struggled with this "extrovert ideal" that, for a while, almost made me believe I needed to change to be even considered for a chance. However, when you look closer, this disproportionate epitome in society doesn't quite make sense: Extroverts usually occupy leadership roles while introverts are the ones who carefully weigh every decision they make. Teachers often identify better students as extroverts, while introverts have better grades.

With time, I have come to embrace my temperament, my "Soft Power". I no longer see it as a hurdle, but an advantage that helps me be the leader I am today. Without introverts, the world would be void of Chopin's Nocturnes, Van Gogh's Starry Night, and Sartre's Nausea. Introversion isn't having a misfit personality. Introversion is Rosa Park's quiet "no" that engendered the Civil Rights movement.

For those reasons, I will continue to prefer small gatherings over booming parties, to engage in compelling debates, and to indulge in books that help satiate my never-ending curiosity. I will no longer question what I bring to the table. Change is coming, and I plan to be a part of it.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,741 3077  
Oct 7, 2020   #2
The keyword in the prompt requirement is "might". Meaning, the people are wrong about you when they think of you in a certain way. Therefore, if you admit to being an introvert, as other people actually view you, then you are not able to disprove that idea within the essay as required. The essay is about opposing a point of view that most people have about you. So if they think you are introvert, then you should counter this with proof that you are an extrovert. For example, you may be an introvert in a roomful of strangers, but a lively extrovert when surrounded by people who know you well such as family and close friends. The idea for the essay discussion is to discuss a misconception. Therefore, you cannot discuss being an introvert in the manner that you have presented here. You have to oppose the idea, rather than discuss it as an actual strength. There is no misconception about you being an introvert. There is no direct relationship between being an introvert and being a leader. An introvert can still be a leader. I believe you have misunderstood the prompt requirements. You need to oppose an idea that people have about you and explain it. Don't admit it and then explain why this is a misconception. There is no misconception when you admit to something and then try to explain it away.
OP justagirl 1 / 1  
Oct 7, 2020   #3
@Holt
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my essay!
I do see the confusion there. I was more going for the idea that people think or assume I can't be a leader because I'm an introvert. I really wanted to highlight how I demonstrate leadership despite not having the temperament of your "standard" leader. I wanted to point that out because the program is all about diversity and leadership.

Any ideas on how I can make the misconception a little bit more explicit or add some stuff so that that aspect isn't confusing anymore?


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