Many students decide to apply to Emory University based on our size, location, reputation, and yes, the weather. Besides these valid reasons as a possible college choice, why is Emory University a particularly good match for you?
Emory University
As of late, the college admission process has largely become a quantitative process. Today's applicants find and apply to schools that match their scores and statistics, but not their interests. How well an applicant's grades and scores match up with the average statistics of the university is an important factor in deciding which schools to apply to, but it should not be overshadowed by the fact that the school first needs to match the applicant's interests, attributes, and needs. One needs to imagine himself at the university in question, and should decide to attend that school only if he feels as if he could not imagine himself anywhere else. I am lucky enough to have found my dream school already. I cannot imagine spending the next four years of my life anywhere other than the marvelous community of Emory University.
There are many reasons why Emory is perfect for me. My ideal college would provide me with the tools to not just achieve success, but would also enable me better the world around me. Emory's mission is "to create, preserve, teach, and apply knowledge in the service of humanity." I believe that it is important for students to develop and mature during their university years, and Emory makes sure of this. It places much emphasis on ethics and has an unparalleled commitment to creating responsible and humane leaders.
Of all the colleges I have researched during my admissions process, none have captivated me as much as Emory. Almost every night for the last month or so, I have began to imagine myself actually at Emory. Every night before I drift off to sleep, I see myself as a part of the Emory community. I see myself with an unknown but friendly roommate in Dobbs Hall. I see myself eating lunch with friends at the DUC. I see myself studying overnight in the Candler Library. I see myself in listening to the professor as he speaks during an Advanced Corporate Finance class in the Goizueta Business School. I see myself playing recreational tennis and basketball at the Clairmont Campus. I see myself being dismissed from class by a particular friendly skeleton during Dooley week. And finally, I see myself as a mature, responsible, and intelligent individual, the type of person that can only result from an Emory education.
Please critique my essay. Thanks a lot!
Good morning.
A couple of suggestions:
"One needs to imagine oneself at the..." Since you stayed with the pronoun "one" you should continue it consistently throughout the sentence.
"...an Advanced Corporate Finance class..." As these are neither proper nouns nor the first words of sentences, it should not be capitalized.
"And finally, I see myself..." It's never a good idea to start your sentences with "and." Try reworking this and see what you can come up with.
I'm not really sure if this completely answers the prompt. Why is this institution such a great match for you? You discuss the parts you are excited about, but never really delve into why it's a perfect fit. Try evaluating what it is exactly about this institution that makes you sure it's the one for you.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
