Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3

Distinctive Impression; Personal Statement for Illinois MBA program

dibya 4 / 11 2  
Jan 10, 2013   #1
Write a personal statement that should:
Introduce yourself to the admissions committee;
contain a description of your relevant education, work experience, and volunteer activities;
outline your future professional goals;
explain why you believe the ILLINOIS MBA can help you achieve your professional goals; and
indicate what your personal contribution to the ILLINOIS MBA will be.

Please proofread my response:

Hello, my name is Dibya Ranjan Pal and I hail from India. I work in XXX as an IT Analyst .I take deep interest in Politics and History. My hobbies include bodybuilding, writing blogs and participating in debates. My friends say that my smile is contagious, and I would like to lend it to my Illinois community. I have always been motivated and guided by Swami Vivekananda's quote: "Arise, awake and Stop not till the Goal is reached."

In 2008 I completed my high school with 80% marks and enrolled myself in ITER College for a degree in Electronics and Telecommunication Engineering. During my Engineering days I joined politics as I believed that politics was the sole medium through which substantive social changes can be made for the welfare of the society. Through my stint in politics I acquired indispensable leadership and motivational skills. Along with my team, I travelled to many rural areas of my state for the Panchayat (village Council) elections and got the opportunity to address small gatherings, which was my first experience in public speaking. I was moved by the deplorable condition of people especially in the tribal areas. My experience in Politics transformed me and changed my perspective towards life. Thereafter I led the Youth Council of the party for my sub-division in some political protests and campaigns.

In 2008 I finished my Engineering degree and joined TCS upon the completion of a 3 month initial training program. Since then, my 4 years in the IT industry has been a collection of great experiences both in Technology and in working with different clients. During my first 2 years in TCS, I gained considerable technical knowledge. In 2010 while working for Bank Of America client, I had proposed the use of a tool developed by me for which I was later rewarded. Through the subtle art of persuasion and coherent argumentation that I had gained from Politics, I convinced my client to restructure the Build Management Team, which eventually led to the creation of a new four member team. In a short period I had helped my company to salvage a dying project and churn it into a profitable one through proactive proposals to the client, eventually generating additional revenue of over $17,000. The success of the team that I had led, brought into limelight my leadership and persuasive skills as well as corroborates my ability to mentoring juniors. My appetite for challenges lured me into greater management activities like Offshore Billing and Crisis Management thereby showcasing my analytical skills. My knack for learning further pushed me into proposal writing and by now I have worked on 3 Business proposals for TCS. However lack of in depth Business management skills has proved to be a hard stop in my growth. A broader leadership role in a consulting firm will only be befitting when I have a cross-functional knowledge of the industry. Through my leadership skills and experience working across various customers, I have developed valuable MBA technical skills but they need to be honed to fine tune my Business acumen and thereby excel in the field of consulting. I have made presentations at lower management levels, but still I have a long way to go to be "Boardroom Ready.

Along with my present professional life I am involved with an NGO named CRY (Child Rights & You).I had joined CRY in order to work towards alleviating the condition of impoverished children in India. I got the opportunity to lead certain programs at CRY. As a core team member I am involved in formulating new campaigns and programs within the city to foster support for our cause. I have also been spreading awareness about Child Rights in Chennai through presentations in various colleges.

My short term goal starts with gaining in-depth business management skills, which will help me to think strategically and develop new practices to address the ever changing Business scenario. After Graduation I would like to join a premier consulting firm as a Business consultant wherein I could exploit my acquired knowledge in a Real time consulting role. The experience that I will gain will help me inch closer to my bigger goal which is to lead a Global consulting firm like Deloitte, Ernst & Young, Capgemini or KPMG one day. I would control the operations of that firm, drive its business and make sure that innovation is given utmost priority.

Illinois's MBA program is concise and enriching in content. It's closed knit community of students and world class faculty will surely foster an exchange of knowledge, expertise, ideas, culture and friendliness, which seems quite tailor made for my career aspirations. The diversity in the class can be leveraged to analyze the different ways in which things are done in various parts of the world. This

will help me acquire an International perspective. The case competitions and experiential learning will help me go deeper into the realm of Business Consulting. The perfect blend of the curriculum and being in the middle of a diverse group will help me think about problems not only from a technical perspective but also in terms of its impact on the people. The Global Consulting Program program has also caught my attention and will surely provide a unique experience. In short I am sure that Illinois's MBA would provide me with the tools, network and opportunity to make an impact in the outside world.

My experience in Illinois would not be a one-way road. Through my acquired insights from the IT field I will enhance the experience of my classmates by presenting a different perspective to various Business problems. As an Indian, I will leverage my cultural and demographic diversity to bring about a different outlook to the peer learning process .A sustainable business ideology with Corporate Social Responsibility will be my contribution to the Illinois class. I have been part of Politics and NGO service that has fostered an attitude of Altruism in me, which I need to harness by being part of the Illinois's Community service. As a Part of the admissions team I would be the perfect Ambassador for Illinois's MBA program in my region and will help in bolstering its already dominant global brand value. Provided an opportunity a club like Cultural Excellence Group (CEG) can be formed to promote intercultural work

environment through experiential learning. Through my acquired experiences and strong ethical values I would like to leave a substantial and distinct impression on Illinois's community.

Th25cc 2 / 90 26  
Jan 10, 2013   #2
Thorough description of the prompt. I think you could talk more specifically as to why you need a business degree for consulting, but other than that, your content was good.

You should probably do some research on capitalization - too many nouns were capitalized. Only capitalize proper, specific nouns.

Good luck!
OP dibya 4 / 11 2  
Jan 16, 2013   #3
Thanks Th25cc for the comments.

Home / Undergraduate / Distinctive Impression; Personal Statement for Illinois MBA program