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Too much Diversity to describe in 500 words- CU boulder essay

akharper2868 2 / 5  
Nov 16, 2012   #1
So here's the prompt: The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching,
research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We
strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in
opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in
which we live.
Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive
community, and what are your hopes for your college experience?

Now, this one was really though for me, simply because I didnt know whether I should focus on a single thing or describe all of them. Anyway please help me out here. Here's the essay:

Alicia Harper
Essay A: How I can enrich CU's diverse community and my aspirations
Change is one of the most difficult things to go through but I've also learned that change is a given in life. My first experience of true change was in 2008, when my parents bought a boat to cruise around the Caribbean and home school me. Everything I had previously known were all being left behind, and I had no idea what this new life would be like.

Initially I had an amazing time collecting shells from white sandy beaches, snorkelling in beautiful waters and doing school work on an ad hoc basis. However, after a month or so, I developed 'cabin fever'. I longed for my friends back home and would give anything to sit in class with thirty other kids again.

But as the saying goes, "this soon shall pass", and I soon embraced my new life and the discipline that came with home schooling. With no fixed itinerary, we stayed for a day or for multiple weeks as we discovered new places and met new people. Each island had it's own quirks and cultures influenced by either their English, French or American forebears. I observed, learnt and interacted with people with rather diverse backgrounds. On top of academic discipline, I was forced to learn physical discipline. Whether it was dropping the anchor or setting the lines, it's only a few seconds that determines whether you'll be safely anchored, or washed onto the rocks.

After the first year island hopping and home schooling, we decided to live aboard in a yacht club in Puerto Rico. This allowed me to attend the local high school. After a year of quiet introspection, the combination of being in a close-knit school and overwhelming Hispanic culture gave me a culture shock. My shy, observant personality was soon swept aside by the boisterous yet gregarious culture of Puerto Rico. After a few months, my classmates started to look like a dysfunctional family and my teachers became both my friends and my support system. Puerto Rico gave me the opportunity to branch out and be integrated into a completely new culture.

Through my travels, I have learnt to appreciate the diversity of people and their different views of the world. Being thrown out of my comfort zone made me embrace change. It taught me how to adapt and become a more diverse person with a different perspective on life. My diverse background and unique experiences will add a new perspective to classroom discussion and CU as a whole. After seeing so much of the world, I can no longer see myself staying in one place. I want to gain as much experience, knowledge, and discipline from CU's superb engineering program and use that education as a way to boost my career on an international level.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Nov 17, 2012   #2
I really enjoyed reading your essay, it is impressive. I think your story is very interesting and it is perfect for the college app prompt. I just found a few words that should be changed. Otherwise, your essay is just fine. Good luck in school, I think the school would be lucky to have you as a student :)

...learned and interacted with people with rather diverse backgrounds.

I have learned to appreciate the diversity of people...

It taught me how to be adaptable and become a more diverse person...
OP akharper2868 2 / 5  
Nov 18, 2012   #3
Opps didn't notice that i wrote that! Thanks for catching that

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