Thanks in advance for your help!
The world is flattening and we are becoming more interconnected. New technologies are making it easier to collaborate with people all around the world. Consequentially, our fates are being intertwined. To move positively in the direction of our future we need to keep the interests of others in mind. Success is a group effort. It will require some effort but the benefits of collaboration are infinite.
I have lived in small New England towns for the majority of my lifetime, but I have a global perspective. I have made friends with people from all around the world. This past year Gould asked my family if we could host three Chinese students over a school break. My mother and I were glad to help out, and welcomed them into our home. We took them to Portland, ME to see the harbor lighthouse and explore Fort Williams Park. We even had dinner at an authentic Chinese restaurant in Portland. They were happy to be reminded of home.
I became good friends with Charles. He was more inquisitive than his friends. Steven and Won kept to themselves, and I hardly saw them except at meals. They focused intently on their Apple computer screens: talking to friends back home, checking the news, and listening to music. But Charles just wanted to talk. He had this insatiable desire to improve his English and learn more about American culture. We had company over for dinner one night. We had just finished our pot roast and had moved on to the blueberry pie with ice cream. I will never forget what happened next. Charles asked everyone what they thought about President Bush and the war in Iraq. My only impulse was to grin as our guests proceeded to debate the legitimacy of U.S. Foreign policy with Charles
Charles stayed with me again this October break. He accompanied me on a college visit to Boston. After the visits we explored the bustling corners of Newbury Street. We talked about calculus, clothing, and how Boston reminded him of his home in Shanghai. Whilst he was describing what a city 20 million people looks like I was reminded of something. Though Charles and I come from such different backgrounds and cultures, we were more similar than I could have possibly imagined. Yet, there always seems to be something new we can learn from each other.
Charles is an amazing friend. We have had some great conversations about politics and how to tackle complex calculus problems. There are the intangibles too. There is an incredible amount of opportunities in this world. My friendship with Charles taught me that an open mind and a flexible attitude will help you recognize them. As globalization continues to bring us together, these type of relationships are going to be the key to our success. The noble truth is that we are all people. People come from very different backgrounds and contrasting cultures, but that is what makes life interesting. The sooner we understand this truth, the sooner we can realize the benefits of collective collaboration.
I suggest you to elaborate or give a description of who "Gould" is. Other than that, this is a well written essay. You can also write about how you would contribute to the university you are applying to or how this experience will help your intended major.
In the beginning, I think it is impressive that you talk about globalization as something that makes out fates become more "interconnected."
I think, it the beginning it might be interesting to compare the world with a brain developing a more sophisticated network of neural pathways. That is just something your essay made me think of.
Maybe you could connect the end with the beginning even more strongly. Write a sentence with the word "globalization" in it. These are just ideas... your writing is already very good.
Write twenty instead of 20
Wow, great last sentence.
