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Why a doctor - Med Program Application


hlathia 3 / 4  
Nov 13, 2011   #1
any feedback would be great! thanks in advance!
and the prompt is to write about why you want to go into a medical career =]

"Mommy, I promise you will get better one day!' were the words of a little seven year old girl as she watched her mother cry in pain. "Mommy, I promise!" she exclaimed. This little girl wanted nothing more than to be able to see her mom smile again. She wanted the pain and suffering her mother was in to disappear. She wanted the crying and screaming to stop. All this little girl wanted was her carefree mother back. That little girl was me.

For years now, my mother has suffered from chondromalacia in her knee resulting in severe arthritis and joint pain. I remember as a little girl, my mom struggling just to walk to the bathroom because the pressure put on her knee by walking just too much to handle. I recall praying for the health of my mother.

My prayers were finally answered the day we met Dr. Mark Seckler. As the tall man walked into the patient room, I recall him smiling not only at my mom but at everyone in the room. His assertive voice captured the fear in each of us and turned it into confidence and hope. His simple yet reassuring words were able to convert our apprehension into trust.

In short, my reason for choosing a career in medicine is not entirely medicinal. While I find the human body fascinating, my greatest interest is in that of inspiring hope. I look to be a physician who can not only cure but can also build confidence of recovery not only in the patient but the family members as well. For as a little girl, I knew nothing about the tests or surgeries, but as Dr. Seckler walked out of that room I knew that everything was going to be alright. I aspire to be a physician with the ability to turn the fear present in all patients into optimism towards the future.
MIT2016 2 / 18  
Nov 14, 2011   #2
It's a masterpiece, the way the essay began!

But I suggest you add some medicinal values to your interest in order to embellish your essay.

Once again, amazing start!
OP hlathia 3 / 4  
Nov 14, 2011   #3
thanks! but I'm not really sure what you mean by medicinal values, could you expand?
Thanks once again!
breakingRenee 5 / 11  
Nov 15, 2011   #4
HI the essay is great but I kinda feel like there is something missing... maybe like a transitional sentence between the third and forth paragraph.
danny411 /  
Nov 15, 2011   #5
yes quite good

i like the last part about building confidence in the families as well

im in the same field so this is something we overlook; The holistic connection between the patient and family

good job
Dii 6 / 24  
Dec 10, 2011   #6
Good Piece.
Are you applying for medschool undergraduate?


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