Hello again everybody! Here I am once again, this time with Essay A of the Texas Common Application fresh off the word processor.
I really appreciated the kind words and helpful insight provided for my last entry and I hope to receive similar help for this one. Thanks for Reading! :D
Prompt - Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
A "Doctoring" of Perspective
One could say that in today's ever expanding global economy, there are a near infinite amount of career paths available; an occupation to fill any need. But consider an occupation whose daily reward far surpasses the joy elicited by any paycheck. Consider an occupation that continuously provides you the opportunity to improve the life of another, or to save another's life altogether. That of course, is the charge of a physician. And although there is somewhere in the ballpark of 567,000 practicing physicians in the United States, one Cardiologist however has played a pivotal part in my life as professional role model and family friend.
Dr. Hector Urrutia was born the son of a meager coffee farmer in the district of Tacuba, El Salvador in 1940. Never having much monetarily, Dr. Urrutia realized early on the importance of a quality education and eventually earned his medical degree in El Salvador in the hopes of bettering the lives of others. As one might imagine, impoverished Salvadorian citizens rarely had money to pay for their medical treatments. As a result Dr. Urrutia accepted the eggs, fruits, and vegetables provided to him by local farmers as payment, assuming they could pay at all. In today's world of medical politics and greed, unfortunately such sincere charity has become an increasingly rare commodity. To come from such a humble background, and through hard work and determination, become a beacon of hope and aid to the community is a poignant achievement that I find incredibly inspiring. For as long as I have conscious recollection I have known with great certainty that I wanted to be a physician, and although my prospective specialty as said physician has changed periodically as I advanced in age, my ultimate aim has never wavered. Even as a young child I accepted the fact that I could never be completely satisfied doing anything else. Dr. Hector Urrutia's story of such emotional heft has only reinforced my adamant goal of one day practicing medicine myself.
Today, Dr. Urrutia is a distinguished Cardiologist in the Rio Grande Valley who has practiced nuclear cardiology with my father for close to eleven years. As a result, he has become a very close family friend and occupational mentor. On many occasions, I have had the privilege of engaging in meaningful discussions regarding my professional aspirations with this Doctor. His unique insight into the world of medicine has opened my eyes to the many unseen workings of the industry, and the many virtues of a proper medical professional too often conveniently over looked by far too many. Although perhaps the largest impact Dr. Urrutia has made on my life has been through example. This Doctor, with specialties in both Internal Medicine and Cardiology has been the literal savior of countless lives all across the United States and Central America. While it is common knowledge that physicians earn a substantial paycheck; to know that your medical prowess has quite plainly meant the difference between life and death for hundreds of individuals is greater than any monetary reward.
The job of a physician is never an easy one; bad news is often delivered on a daily basis and calamity often strikes at all hours of the day and night, requiring doctors to work long and irregular hours. Dr. Urrutia has long been a shining example to me of selfless service and compassion. Taking the time to explain his procedures and diagnoses in agonizing detail to each of his patients, often sacrificing sleep and personal well-being in order to see a seemingly endless stream of afflicted patients.
Every so often, a person will seemingly out of the blue, step into our lives and change our outlook on a subject we thought we knew so well. There was once a time in my life when I saw the field of medicine as simply a profession in which specialists applied their extensive medical knowledge to alleviate their patients of Illness. Dr. Urrutia however, has shown me through example that the job of a physician calls for so much more than simply curing disease. An apt physician connects with the patient at a personal level, mitigating the physical harm of ailments while assuaging the anxiety that often accompanies them. Dr. Urrutia's selfless and compassionate approach to the medical field has served to set the bar high for me as an aspiring student.
One could say that in today's ever expanding global economy, there are a near infinite amount of career paths available; an occupation to fill any need.
The career paths available in today's ever-expanding global economy are nearly infinite; there is an occupation to fill any need.
- Remember:Both the sentences preceding and following a semicolon have to be independent clauses.
But consider an occupation whose daily reward far surpasses the joy elicited by any paycheck.
- Never begin a sentence with a conjunction (and, but, or).
That, of course, is the charge of a physician.
-Explain what "that" is. You're referring to an entire sentence with "that". You want to tell the reader specifically what you are talking about. Though, changing "that" to "this" would help.
And although there is somewhere in the ballpark of 567,000 practicing physicians in the United States, one Cardiologist however has played a pivotal role in my life as professional role model and family friend .
Suggestion: Although there are around 567,000 practicing physicians in the United States, there is only one in particular that has played a pivotal role in my life.
Suggestions:
Dr. Hector Urrutia was born in 1940 to a meager coffee farmer in the district of Tacuba, El Salvador. Never having much monetarily, Dr. Urrutia realized early on the importance of a quality education.
To come from such a humble background, and through hard work and determination, become a beacon of hope and aid to the community is a poignant achievement that I find incredibly inspiring. (this needs to be reworded. it's not as clear as it could be.)
Although my prospective specialty has changed periodically, my ultimate aim has never wavered. Even as a young child I accepted the fact that I could never be completely satisfied doing anything else. (this needs to be reworded.) Dr. Hector Urrutia's story has only reinforced my adamant goal of one day practicing medicine myself.
Today, Dr. Urrutia is a distinguished Cardiologist in the Rio Grande Valley.
While it is common knowledge that physicians earn a substantial paycheck, I think that the knowledge that your medical prowess has meant the difference between life and death for hundreds of individuals is greater than any monetary reward.
The job of a physician is never an easy one; bad news is often delivered on a daily basis and calamity often strikes at all hours of the day and night, requiring doctors to work long and irregular hours. (major run-on sentence)
Great topic! I like the way you ended it. You just have to work on the grammar and you'll be all right.
Good Luck!! Hope I helped :)
btw, could you check out mine too?? i could really use the feedback. thanks :)
Thanks a bunch Samarah! This was the last of three essays written during the Thanksgiving holiday. I could definitely note the decline in grammar as I attempted to churn these out ASAP. :P
Again, I thank you for your explicit and very helpful suggestions. I would be glad to check out your essay. :)
