'Doctors can be beneficial to everyone' - UMD, what is your something?

300 word essay on what is your something in life.

What if I was born into a world without society, into a world of anarchy? Would my something be the same there as it is in reality? That was the first thing I asked myself when I read the quote by Thoreau. Thankfully though I grew up in a world of modern society and I get to be anything or anyone I want to be. I want to work in medicine and while I can't say that medicine is my passion it is something I know I'll be good at. My passion is to do something beneficial to others and meaningful to myself. Something I can feel good about doing. My something in this world is not need to be anything specific, just something valuable. I debated for a long time about what my beneficial thing would be going between the military, being a doctor, working in politics and maybe even teaching.

I decided to be a doctor due to the fact they can be beneficial to everyone no matter how much money they have, color of their skin, where they live, or their religion. The ability to be a help to everyone is important to me because being from the military I've been to places where race, sex, and religion are still openly discriminated against and I can't stand it. Also, being a doctor is a challenge, and after 5 longs years in the Marines (which is supposed to be the hardest military branch) I neither want nor can accept nothing less than a good challenge in life. Also a doctor can work at a medical school and become a teacher and still be a doctor. My something is to help the world be a better place, and I think I'm pursuing the best career choice to do just that.

Really good! Just a couple of suggestions.

Get rid of "the hardest branch of the military". You state what you need to about the marines in the next sentence when you talk about a challange.

"of modern society and I get to be" = Where. keep it simple.

Please don't say that medicine isn't your passion. It makes you sound like you would be undedicated (which you aren't by the sound of it). Talk about your passion being you want to help people and that you believe medicine is the best way to do that.

"The ability to be a help to everyone is important to me because being from the military I've been to places where race, sex, and religion are still openly discriminated against and I can't stand it."= Due to my military service, I have been able to travel the world and see first hand the ugly face of discrimination.

I love your concluding sentences! "My something is to help the world be a better place, and I think I'm pursuing the best career choice to do just that."

Get rid of 'Also a doctor can work at a medical school and become a teacher and still be a doctor.' But if you really want it state it more like this: "Being a doctor also has the added benifit of teaching people about their body's, and how to stay healthy."

Good Luck!

Thanks for the critique! That's great stuff