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My Dog (Need critiques for my common app essay)


tinytapper36 1 / -  
Sep 26, 2009   #1
I have chosen to write about my dog for my common app essay
feel free to comment and critique!
thanks!

"The value of friendship is seldom known until it is lost." I learned this when my best friend died. There were many times when he should have died but was lucky enough to pull through and survive. He was a gift from my grandpa when I was 7. He was a 7-week old sable sheltie and he quickly became my best friend.

The first time that Coconut faced death was when he was a few weeks old. My mom was walking him around outside, the neighbor let out their weimaraner who saw Coconut and attacked, pulling the leash out of my mom's hands. She screamed as the dog relentlessly attacked Coconut. I heard my mom scream and fear ran through me, not knowing what was happening outside. I ran around the house, frantically trying to find shoes so I could go outside and see what was wrong. I was very lucky that I did not find shoes or else I could have been in Coconut's place. The owner of the dog came out and was able to pull off the dog but by then Coconut had already been injured. We rushed him into the vet where they did x-rays. They found that he had a broken leg. Coconut came home with a purple cast on his leg and a funnel to keep him from chewing the injured area. He looked like he had an ice cream cone around his head! I had just gotten Coconut and already, he had had a near death experience. Little did I know though, that this was only the beginning.

The next time he escaped death was when he was 1 ˝. Coconut loved the outside and we would tie him outside on a lead. One day though, he broke the lead. We could not find him after hours of searching. We made lost dog flyers and put them in every mailbox within 2 miles of our house. My 2 year old sister would stand at the window and say "Coco, Coco," wondering where he had gone. Our whole family was beginning to give up when we got a call from a lady who said that she found a dog in a creek that was by her house. We rushed to her house and found that it was Coconut. He was dehydrated and had lost all blood flow to his tail because he was stuck in a fence. His tail had to be amputated but he survived. This was the second time that Coconut escaped death. I began to really appreciate him as my pet.

Death approached him for the 4th time when he was 9 ˝. I was getting into bed when Coconut came into my room and collapsed. He would sleep with me every night so when I called him and he did not come, I knew something was wrong. I got my mom who called my grandpa. He gave us the name of an emergency clinic to take him to. We jumped in the car and I prayed that everything was going to be okay. I cried, hoping my best friend was going to make it. The veterinarian informed us that Coconut had become unconscious because he was unable to breathe due to an enlarged heart that was pressing up on his esophagus. He was put on multiple medications but the veterinarian said he should survive for the time being. My lucky dog survived and I was thrilled to still have him in my life.

Everything was going well and Coconut seemed to be back to his fun-loving self. Unfortunately, a couple of months later, my mom woke me up and said that she was taking Coconut to the veterinarian because she could see that he was having trouble breathing. This time, there was not much they could do for him. A valve of his heart had ruptured and blood was running up his throat and drowning him. We decided to put him to sleep so that he did not have to endure the pain any longer. My family and I went into the room where he was laying in an oxygen tank. My heart broke as I saw my best friend in such a painful state. I cried as I hugged him goodbye and told him that this was not the last time I would see him. I promised that I would meet him on the other side of the rainbow bridge when the time came. I said goodbye and kissed his head before he went to sleep. It was the hardest decision that I have ever made but I know that he suffered enough and that I did not want him to have to live like in pain.

Coconut has easily been the best friend that I have ever had. He loved me unconditionally. He was loyal. He was always there for me if I needed someone to laugh at, cry on, or love. He was always able to make me laugh. For example, he often got into our candy dish that sat on our living room table. We would come into the house, see that he ate the candy, and say "did you get into the candy dish???" His ears would immediately flatten against his head. He knew that he had done something wrong but we always laughed because he was so cute. He enjoyed my companionship no matter what. He would follow me, would sit and watch me do homework, and would sleep with me at night. He did not worry about the petty things that human beings worry about but rather enjoyed life and his human family. I loved that about Coconut. I will always miss him and can't wait until I get to see him again as he crosses the rainbow bridge to greet me.

EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 26, 2009   #2
I'm not the best person to ask on this one, because I am still grieving the loss of my best canine friend. So, any story like this makes me cry. Still, I think you may need to edit it for coherence and perhaps add a conclusion that says what you learned from this relationship.
surfskateskim 2 / 6  
Sep 27, 2009   #3
^^ i agree.
my dog also just died. very sad. sorry for ur loss


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