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'doing something constructive that fulfills my time' - Personal Essay (a sense of who you are)


yasin391 6 / 22  
Dec 29, 2008   #1
Here is the prompt for my admissions essay:

Write an essay which conveys to the reader a sense of who you are. Possible topics may include, but are not limited to, experiences which have shaped your life, the circumstances of your upbringing, your most meaningful intellectual achievement, the way you see the world - the people in it, events great and small, everyday life - or any personal theme which appeals to your imagination. Please remember that we are concerned not only with the substance of your prose but with your writing style as well. We prefer that you limit yourself to approximately 250-500 words (or 1-2 pages).

Here is the essay:

Ambitious, motivated, and even invincible are ideas and characteristics that I strive towards being every day of my life. I am a person who is most satisfied when doing something constructive and fulfill time without wasting a nanosecond. I urge myself to accept challenges and never accept present success as the end. I believe that there is always room to develop, improve and innovate the past into something new. These ideas influence my life and are the blueprints towards my milestones.

I think that I am the architect and engineer of my life. If I do something productive, then my life is filled with experiences that I will never regret. As in any blueprint, there are decisions that contribute to the elements of a product. For me choices and desires to do certain things make up my life and determine where I go. Choices and desires are two elements that will always affect me and whatever I do it involves making a decision. When deciding on a career goal, I saw my future in civil engineering because it involves my idea of infusing my life with productive things and fulfilling my life to the fullest extent. My ambition and dedication to absolute fulfillment in life drive me towards an engineering career. With these ideas, I dedicate my life in doing my best despite the intricacy of a task. I am prepared to accept any challenge that comes my way. When someone asks for help I take that request as an opportunity for me to learn something so that I can build on my knowledge and innovate it in to something that one day will contribute to a goal that I have. Even if whatever I am given is something that is completely new to me, I consider it as a chance for me to apply what I know to realize something that I don't know. I have no boundaries to the tasks that I can complete. As a result of thirst to break the limitations of the unknown and I have decided to apply to Polytechnic Institute.

After looking at the campus of Polytechnic Institute from website photos and a visit there, I saw that this is the ideal college for me to continue towards an engineering profession. Polytechnic Institute is the archetype of engineering and contemporary education. It is very accessible to students through the benefits of it being in an urban setting. It is one of the few institutions in New York City providing engineering as one of the academic majors. I believe that from Polytechnic Institute I will be able to acquire knowledge to the highest potential, of not just engineering but about life, people and the entire world at various perspectives. I am not applying to Polytechnic Institute just because it is a well known college; instead I am applying because I see that it fits my ability and capacity of learning. It is my desire to have the opportunity to become a great asset to the world and I believe it starts here at Polytechnic Institute.

Can you edit my essay and see if give me pointers. Is this essay too general, any errors, pr any problems involving the essay related to the prompt?

Waiting for reply... thanks

brood910 5 / 14  
Dec 29, 2008   #2
i think this essay is pretty good..
OP yasin391 6 / 22  
Dec 29, 2008   #3
Thanks, are there any errors you see or problems in my essay?
xyz 2 / 1  
Dec 30, 2008   #4
I would like my legacy to be that I helped as many people as I can and became positive person in the environment
I would like people to remember me as a helpfull person and become a positive element in the society.

your essay is good!best of luck!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,324 129  
Dec 30, 2008   #5
I am satisfied when I am doing something constructive and fulfilling.

These ideas influence my life and continually guide me as I move forward. They urge me to accept challenges, find things to do that benefit the world, and make decisions that involve my ideas of life.

Choices and desires are two things that will always affect me and whatever I do, it involves making a decision.

I am prepared to accept any challenges that come my way. When someone asks for help I take that request as an opportunity to learn something.

I would like my legacy to be that I helped as many people as I could, and became positive person in the environment.

My goal is to do positive things for the environment so that others can benefit because I benefited from that same environment and I would like others to have that advantage.

Good essay, and good luck in school!

:)
OP yasin391 6 / 22  
Dec 30, 2008   #6
NEW ESSAY
Here is the NEW essay:
I believe that I am a dedicated, intelligent, and ambitious person. I am satisfied when I am doing something constructive that fulfills my time without wasting one nanosecond. These ideas influence my life and continually guide me as I move forward. They urge me to go for challenges and easily adapt to the changes that happen in life.

I think that I am the architect and engineer of my life. If I do something productive, then my life is filled with experiences that I will never regret.

...
OP yasin391 6 / 22  
Jan 12, 2009   #7
Polytechnic Institute of Technology Essay About My Path Towards Engineering

This is an essay for Polytechnic Institute and the essay prompt is general, it says choose a topic so I chose a topic about my decision on engineering and how I came to that path.

Can you please edit my essays, errors... incoherence, etc? Anything I need to change to make the essay flow better?
OP yasin391 6 / 22  
Jan 13, 2009   #8
can you give me some incite on what I should fix. Please revise it... I Appreciate it...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,324 129  
Jan 13, 2009   #9
I like the idea of being the architect and engineer of your life!! These terms at the beginning.. put them in " " marks:

"Ambitious," "motivated," and even "invincible" are ideas and characteristics that I strive to embody every day of my life. I am a person who is most satisfied when doing something constructive, so that I spend time without wasting even a nanosecond.


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