Please write an essay (250-500 words) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you
In 9th Grade when I used to go to class, most of my classmates would laugh at me. Thet used to say look at that fat guy. I didnt know what was my mistake in it. But I decided tah i had enough and Ihad to become thin and show them that i can be thin too. I started dieting, i started rigorous work outs, iplayed football for longer, i gave up on cold coffee. Trust me giving up cold cofee was the bigggest thing i could do.It wasnt easy but I had to do it When I did finally achieve the results i wanted and i looked back at all the hardwork i had done and fibally breathed a sigh of relief. By then i was in 10th grade.
After the summer break I was ready to go back to school, the first day I went expected everyone to be surprised and be very friendly to me. And i wasnt disappointed, that is what happened. I should have been happy but there was this strange feeling inside me asking me that was this really me?
Everyone treated me so different back then, the guys who used to laugh at me are now friends with me. Was I really successful? In terms of me becoming thin, yeah I was! But what about my self esteem i , I had made my self esteem thin as well. I changed for good but shouldnt this motivation have come from within? I did something under peer pressure, to please someone else. Am I so weak?
From that day I realised that I should do what think of and now under peer pressure or to please someone. I may please everyone, but i also need to please the guy inside me. I learned that I can accomplish something even it requires me to work hard but what I learned more importantly is that I should live my life according to my way. Life is too short to please other. I also understood that those classmates werent meant to be friends with me, I learnt that it is necessary to have a right fit, only then can you progress and be happy.
So what does this say of my future? Would I still do things just to impress others? The answer is a big no! When I had the choice to pick a club from the more socially accepted Fashion Club and more hated Math club, I chose the Math Club, not just only because I likeMath but also because I knew it is important for me to be in the right fit to be happy.
PLEASE feel free for any kind of critique.
Well done on your essay. Keep going! here are some advices:
"In 9th Grade when I used to go to class" -> erase "used to", I think maybe it is not neccessary
I think although it is a personal statement (which you do well in express something personally), it may need to be more formal than that (you should use was not instead of wasnt)
The sentence of this kind "The answer is a big no!" may be a little bit offensive to the adcom.
Those are just some of my opinions, though.
Hope this help.
