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"What I've done the last 10 years"-Temple University admission

purpribb1 1 / -  
Nov 12, 2012   #1
Imagine you have graduated from Temple University. You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion, and the alumni office has asked you to write a one-page essay about your personal and professional accomplishments since graduation. What would yours say?

This is what I have so far, please tell me what I could improve on!

Ten years have passed since my graduation from Temple University, where after hard work, dedication, and a focused state of mind, I successfully achieved my goal of obtaining a bachelor's degree in business management. I find myself in a point in my life where I have begun to branch out to more impactful positions in the business world. My years at Temple University trained me to become comfortable with situations in which I am leading a team and where my decisions play a huge role in the welfare of the company. At the age of 32, I am ready to enter graduate school to further develop my skills needed to continue on my career path and begin the next stage of my long-term professional business career.

A lot has changed in my life since graduating in 2017. I moved to New York City where I was able to dive into the pool of opportunities, and find a career in the business sector. It was a bit of a culture shock at first due to all of the different walks of life found in the city, but after a couple weeks in my new home I knew I would thrive in the city. Though it was a huge culture shock, I felt as though I had come full circle. Before I moved to Pennsylvania I spent my early years growing up in New York with my single mother and older brothers. My fondest childhood memories are of us going down to the park on hot summer days and spending time together as a family. To be here again really felt like I was returning home after a long vacation and I was ready to add on to the fond memories I already had. Shortly after starting my new life I was offered an internship to a major company as a business analyst, and began to shine as the years of preparation at Temple University were paying off. I knew exactly what I had to do and how to do it. Whenever I was free from work I played an active role in the community by helping out at volunteer projects to build new homes and coaching little league baseball teams to help keep them off the streets.

Within my career I have developed new skills and gained responsibilities and feel proud of where I am now. I try to pass down as much of this as I can to fellow graduates and entry-level workers due to my strong belief in personal growth and always striving for more, for myself as well as for the people in my environment. Also, although I am proud to have come this far my growth is far from over. I plan on continuing to move forward in my career and work through possible challenges to get to where I want to go. My journey up to this point has been difficult but very rewarding and as I look back on my life I realize that my time at Temple University has been the genesis of a great life.
MariettaA 2 / 12  
Nov 23, 2012   #2
If its ten year later and you haven't enter graduate school than there is some miss calculation.
I felt as though I had come full circle.<<< i believe you mean you came fully equipped or prepared
Is Temple University in Pennsylvania?

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