French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?
500 words maximum. Very rough draft. Wrote this in a burst of sadness...
Give me any comments please. Thanks in advance.
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The Pomp and Circumstances March play in the background. I sit idly beside the computer screen. I hear the marching footsteps, the rising trumpet notes, and imagine in their midst, those glorious graduates. I wonder if I am doing the right thing. When will I ever be able to hear those sounds as I march through the gates of Brown? When will I be able to demonstrate that I know enough to set foot in that secluded patio of excellence? I know my geography, my history, my psychology, and my calculus. I know my SAT, my ACT, and my Molecular Biology. But all this is nothing, because, surprisingly, in order for me to get in, I have to show them what I don't know.
Just sitting here, I can think of at least a hundred things I don't know. I do not know who composed this wonderful March; I do not know where my laptop came from, or even why I am even able to think about laptops in the first place. Now that I think about it, I wonder if the wish I made to my first shooting star will ever come true, or if the star has long since disintegrated into little faeries; for all I know, that is where Tinker Bell came from. But strangely enough, I realize that everything I do not know is simply something waiting for me to find out. A quick bit of sleuthing tells me that Sir Edward Elgar was the composer of Pomp and Circumstance and my laptop was actually made by Toshiba in Taiwan. Shooting stars are actually not stars, just huge pieces of rocks. Faeries, surprisingly, don't even exist.
But some things aren't that easy to find out. There are still many things that I don't know but which I want to find out. Chiefly among them, I do not know what it is like to be a student at Brown. I do not how I will react receiving my acceptance letter. I do not know what it feels like to relax in my dorm as a freshman, enjoying the company of chicken and a bottle of coke. I do not know what it is like to be a rising sophomore, perhaps taking my seventh course this semester. I do not know what it is like to be a junior, entering the year, full of excitement to participate in the study abroad program. I do not know what it is like to finally be a senior of Brown, to be able to look back on my four years with fond memories and to finally graduate under the beautiful melodies of Pomp and Circumstances as I cross Van Wickle Gates for my second and last time.
Of all essays in essay forum on this question, they are no where near you. Cool! Very Cool!
I know my geography, my history, my psychology, and my calculus. I know my SAT, my ACT, and my Molecular Biology. But all this is nothing, because, surprisingly, in order for me to get in, I have to show them what I don't know.
Very sly! ;) Without saying.... I did this and I did that.... You have said all you wanted to. Very subtly and "clearly".
I am even able to think about laptops in the first place.
Very good.... another great line but but but... the shooting star was not so what can we say... sort of spoils the flow. Think something more wacky and I am sure you can think about it!
Otherwise, its a good essay. Hope this helps... :)
The Pomp and Circumstances March play in the background. I sit idly beside the computer screen. I hear the marching footsteps, the rising ... this is nothing, because, surprisingly, in order for me to get in, I have to show them what I don't know.
Okay, this thing you did here is something I recognize. You intuited the trick of writing "from where you are." You need to get into the moment to write well, and I see that you picked up the pen and started the ball rolling from where you were.
But now that the essay is writtem, shave off that intro paragraph and paste it into a document where you keep a journal for yourself. It was a trick you used to get yourself inspired, but when that happens you usually need to remove it later.
Start here:
Just sitting here, I can think of at least...
Okay, and now I take back everything I said. In general, when you start writing from right were you sit in the room, you will end up switching to the actual subject that needs to be written about, but in this case you kept your current situation as your theme. You did a great job with it. This is written in a way that is so impressive that I would not want to see you change it much. Yet, I know that if I was writing this essay I would focus on my intellectual interests -- specific intellectual interests.
You demonstrate good writing, but can you also demonstrate serious intellectual interests (i.e. courses of study)...
