So I'm applying early action to Georgetown, and as the deadline approaches (Nov. 1) I was hoping to try this website to get some last minute advice on my essay. If you could take a minute or two to read my essay and post any comments or criticisms, i would greatly appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Boyohboy17
PROMPT: Please relate your interest in studying at Georgetown University to your goals. How do these thoughts relate to your chosen course of study?
For most teenagers of seventeen, life is a mess. Amid the towering stacks of college applications, the infinite troubles between boyfriends and girlfriends, and the continuous popularity contest known as high school, kids can easily loose their heading and enter the next stage of their lives disoriented and scared. Mothers and fathers can do their best to re-orient these hobbledehoy organisms with words of encouragement and their sometimes-constructive criticism, but in the end, the only thing that matters is the compass teenagers use to steer their life in the right direction.
My plan is to double-major in History and Economics, with a focus on American History and Macroeconomics. History is my passion. Biographies of men like Abraham Lincoln, John C. Calhoun, and, my favorite historical figure of all time, Theodore Roosevelt line the bookshelf in my room. The elementary question I ask of anything and everything, "why?" provides all the passion I need to devour such historical texts; my necessity to constantly be learning keeps me from ever becoming complacent. AP European History taught me to think like a historian, and AP U.S History converted me into one. Georgetown, just 5 minutes away from Washington D.C, is at the heart of America's past. As the oldest Catholic and Jesuit University in the nation, there is no better place for an inspired student to learn about the most powerful and influential nation in history.
Economics applies the principals and theories of natural science to the concepts and logic of mathematics. An understanding of economics means an understanding of the primary force that drives not only our nation, but also the entire world. My ultimate desire is to start my own business. As the president and founder of the Food Critics Club at Mira Costa High School, I know the feeling of creating something out of nothing, and seeing that something grow and mature. It is a feeling of both exhilaration and maturity unmatched by any other experience. To see my club grow from three members, to ten, and now to twenty five is a sight well worth all of the effort I have put in. Although a food critics club is a lot different than a business, the feeling of creation is the same, and it is a feeling that I will pursue well after college. Undoubtedly, a degree in economics from Georgetown will provide an incredibly strong foundation for my future commercial endeavors.
Since my sophomore year, Georgetown University has been my dream school, and I was luckily able to visit this past summer during a soccer camp hosted by the Hoya Soccer Team. I stayed in the New South dormitory for three nights and was able to briefly experience what a life at Georgetown would feel like. Although classes were out of session and students were home for the summer, chills still ran down my spine as I strolled the campus grounds in between practices. When I first passed the school cemetery, the deafening music produced by the cicadas and the awe-inspiring sense of tradition emanating from the school overwhelmed my senses. It was at that moment that I knew Georgetown was the school for me.
For most teenagers of seventeen, life is a mess- but not for me. I know where I am going; my heading is strong and my determination stronger. My goal is to enroll in Georgetown College and double major in history and economics. My goal is to emerge from Georgetown as an adult, prepared for the future and prepared for life. My goal is to start my own business, and experience that incommunicable feeling of creating something from nothing. My goal is to be a lifelong learner, to never stop questioning the world around me. My goals for the future serve as my compass, guiding me through uncertainty and disorder in proper direction.
Most teenagers of seventeen don't know where they are going. But I do.
I'm going to Georgetown University.
loose lose
hobbledehoy organisms
Now there's a great name for a rock band.
No need for the comma in this sentence: My plan is to double-major in History and Economics, with a focus on American History and Macroeconomics.
SUPER IMPORTANT ADVICE: Biographies of
men Americans like Abraham Lincoln, John C. Calhoun, and, my favorite historical figure of all time, Theodore Roosevel
t, line the bookshelf in my room.
Capitalize in a situation like this: The elementary question I ask of anything and everything, "
Why ?" provides all the passion I need to devour such historical texts; my
necessity need to constantly be learning keeps me from ever
I know where I am going; my heading is strong and my determination stronger. My goal is to enroll in Georgetown College and double major in history and economics. My goal is to emerge from Georgetown as an adult, prepared for ... this specificity is great, but it can be better. Tell us about that business instead of repeating "my goal is to" over and over. I think the repetition you used is not good here. You write very well, so I am not afraid to be critical of you! I think the repetition is too much, and you can make better use of the paragraph by getting specific about that business (that might require doing some research).
:-)
