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'doubts about education in my county' - COMMON APP


miii 2 / 1  
Dec 23, 2011   #1
Hi,
Can you help me edit my essay?

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk, you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

I chose the way different from others.
I have some doubts about education in my county. Students might be able to come up with new ideas and promote their creativities, and learn many things that textbooks don't cover through discussions. However, in my country's education system, there are few opportunities for discussion in class. We students only listen to a lecture and take note, and basically, we are not allowed to give our opinion. When I expressed my opinion differently from my professor, she denied it and made sarcastic and insulting remarks to me. I was shocked at her attitude, so I asked my friends what they think after class. The friend said I should've given the same with her.

Of course, giving my own opinion is not a good thing, because maintain harmony is the most important in my country. I knew it well, but it was boring for me only to listen to professor's opinions and lectures, and it was also not interesting to learn from only one angle.

I also faced a problem about my course in life. In my country, students have to decide their major when they take an entrance exam, additionally it is near impossible to change the major and to transfer to other college/university. To make matters worse, I did not know what I really want to do in the future. I was interested in science, but somehow I chose "law" as my major. I simply thought the knowledge of laws will be useful. I entered university and learned law. It, however, did not make me excited like science did. I realized I took the wrong course.

I lost the meaning of going to university though I did not think that the purpose of doing so was only to study. I have not been to university since the middle of the first semester and I withdrew all classes of the second semester. As a result of thinking seriously and positively about my life, I decided to drop out of university. I needed time to face myself more seriously.

I continued my job I'd began when I entered university for a while, and then I began a new job at a cram school as a teacher. I was unexpectedly offered the job by my old teacher. To be honest, however, I did not have confidence in teaching, so for some time I could not decide whether I should undertake. But I thought I never knew until I tried it. My fear was actually groundless.

I work helping my grandparents in farming now. Not only do I learn how to grow vegetables but I enjoy talking with them. Above all, the vegetables growing bring joy to me because growing it is no easy matter than I expected.

The experience of those works certainly made me more matured. I have no regrets dropping out of university. I realize there's no need to rush and to worry about what other people think. I decide to live my life to the fullest.
shinsley 1 / 5  
Dec 24, 2011   #2
I think that it is lacking a bit of flow. I think that you should elaborate on your experiences a bit more and how they effected you.

Like, for your first point, how has your educational experiences in the old lecture-note format of learning and dropping out of University affect how or where you wanted to learn.

I could help more if I knew where you are from and what college you are applying to.

Also, remember that you are trying to get into a college. Try not to sound so nonchalant about attending college. They want exceptional students, not one that will breeze by their curriculum.

Good luck.


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