DRAW!!! ; Admission Essay- Ryerson

This essay is my oppurtunity to convince the committee of your seriousness and the
appropriateness of your studying at Ryerson University.

Draw. A word my uncle said as he handed me a pencil, paper, and a picture of a room. As I finished this drawing, I discovered the thought behind the surroundings and the things around me. Every room, wall, couch, windows, turned from being just things, into an architected art. An art that can be applied to reality to create a difference of a person's feeling and emotion. The sense of affecting a person's daily life is what made me love and pursue interior designing.

Ever since I discovered this love for design when I was a kid, my curiosity and awareness of my surroundings arose. Imagine, a space that is extremely small, with insufficient lighting and poor maid cleaning this room. As you look into this room, you notice that it is so small, but yet it feels like it does not need any more space. In the Philippines, when I lived in a rich neighborhood, maids were almost present in every household; maids who lived in extremely small spaces to serve for money, but slept comfortably. It surprised me that their finding the positives of a space given allowed them to feel comfortable.

Essay is still unfinished! but I do need help on how i should conceptualize this essay and what I should include afterwards, thanks

I think you should finish it and give the title, because without title we cannot measure that your essay have answered all of question or no.

Here i would share the pattern essay IELTS task 2.
1. Introduction (paraphrasing title, you have to mention thesis statements which will be explained in the bodies)
2. Body 1: explanation of thesis statement 1
3. Body 2: explanation of thesis statement 2
4. Additional information, you can give your own opinion
5. Conclusion

"Draw", my uncle urged as he handed me a pen, a paper and a picture of a room.