Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


Dream of becoming an Architect; Commonapp Architecture/ A RISK YOU HAVE TAKEN


hshsteven 2 / 3  
Dec 25, 2012   #1
This is the main essay on Commonapp about architecture, please give me advice!! thxïź
Submitting in an hour!!

TopicïźšEvaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

"Mum, did you hide my sketchbook again?" I asked my mother angrily, looking for my sketchbook but could not find it anywhere after I got back home.

"How many times did I tell you not to waste your time doodling like a three-year-old?"My mother replied without even looked at me.
Obviously, she had hid it.
Always wanted me to be a computer science professor like my father and never paying attention to my sketch works, my mother tried her best to stop me from "wasting my time" to become an architect. But I could not simply give up. Hours were like seconds when I expressed myself through drawing and designing. As a result of her unsupported actions, I decided to prove to her that my dream to become an architect was worthy.

A month before my mother's birthday, every night after my parents went to bed, I sneaked out of bed, turned up my lamp, and started to design a shed. Because I knew she always wanted to have a shed in our unconstructed garden. First, I divided the garden vertically into two areas. The division was made by a shed which extended via timber beams across the yard, bisecting the main court and providing a dominant central gateway. Inside the half open shed, fixed timber corner seats were designed for my father to drink afternoon coffee and an additional empty space beside them was left for my mother's hobby of growing vegetables. Glass window slides covered atop the shed was used for sufficient lighting. After I finished the design three weeks later, I went through the basic materials online and made sure that all of them were affordable.

The night before my mother's birthday, I put my design worksheet with a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" card on the dining table after she went bed. Looking at my own work, I smiled with an inexplicable feeling mixed with proud, excitement but also anxiousness. Because I knew I was taking a risk. If my mother did not like my design, not only three weeks of my efforts became meaningless, but I also lost the battle of convincing my mother to support my dream.

The next day's morning, I saw my mother reading my plan on the worksheet carefully with great interests. Feeling a basketball bouncing up and down in my heart, I walked towards her.

"Did you draw all this?" She asked as she saw me and smiled.
"Yes!" I answered confidently as I knew from her smile that I had won! The basketball stopped bouncing inside my heart when my mother hugged me. From her eyes, I could tell that she finally realized that their son's sketch works were not simply doodles but useful designs.

Although in the end I did not know my father had already signed the contract with an architect to design the shed and therefore did not use my plan, my mother never questions my dream of becoming an architect any more. From then on, she began to encourage me to pursue my dream. And I am even more determined to be an architect.
abulkhair37 8 / 22  
Dec 25, 2012   #2
Hey hssteven. First off you have a nice experience that you drew from, but this essay doesn't really tell much about YOU other than it took a risk. And towards the end you're being redundant with the word basketball
dreamer8 2 / 5  
Dec 25, 2012   #3
she had hidden it*
IkennaBlack 1 / 2  
Dec 25, 2012   #4
Needs a little more work in the intro.
chillyp 4 / 9 1  
Dec 25, 2012   #5
the last sentence seems a bit choppy, but good ending.


Home / Undergraduate / Dream of becoming an Architect; Commonapp Architecture/ A RISK YOU HAVE TAKEN
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳