Here's my answer to a Yale Supplement question : "Why Yale ? "
I've always been taught to "dream big", not to be afraid of shooting the moon. And, it is in this spirit that I've chosen Yale. I've never got the opportunity to visit its campus, but that didn't stop from wanting it. Indeed, Yale's world-wide renown -definitely unquestionable-, and its intellectually inspiring environment, with stunning teachers and enthralled student, makes it the dream-university for me; not to mention the splendid campus, in which I wish to live. Besides, Yale's particular way of combining humanities to sciences makes it very appealing to me.
Please tell me what you think; and point out any grammar/wordiness/ponctuation errors.
Thanks a lot !
but that didn't stop me from wanting it.
Try to break down your description into simple sentences.
Other than that, your writing shows that your are very determined! =)
..If I were you, I wouldn't even bring it to their attention that you didn't visit the campus..you're going to get negative points for just saying that.. think about all the other students who visited yale..They all are going to write about how they visited the campus and that's why its their dream school, and you're saying how didn't visit it but its your dream university. Just take that part out if you can or indirectly reword it in some way. Also don't just dwell on Yale's academic prestige. Try to incorporate diversity. Yale (and other ivies) loves that...
Try going into a little bit more detail on their organizations...Harvard probably has the same stuff too ya know. world renowned, smart students, nice campus. Sure you chose Yale, but for all they know it's because of the name. GO DEEEPPP
Okay ! i'll revise it !
Thanks everyone; I appreciate it.
Here's a revised version of this essay :
Why Yale ?
As I've always been taught to "dream big", Yale has become my dream-university, mainly due to its intellectually inspiring environment. Besides, the unique harmony between both sciences and humanities that's at the core of Yale's undergraduate education definitely sets it apart from other universities; not to mention its community's great diversity. I am longing to publish columns in Yale scientific Magazine, join in engineers without borders or the Yale undergraduate robotics.
Please tell me if it is any better; and if there still are things to improve.
Thanks a lot!
I want to give you a pretty little advise, and please do not think that I am trying to mislead you or something. Here is the thing:
In this particular question, Yale do not want you to state the obvious! Do not tell them that they have a splendid campus and an impeccable education system. Instead, focus more on pointing out ONE thing that makes Yale the perfect match for you. I want you to ask yourself, Why do you really want to go to Yale? Is it just because you want to live in its breathtaking campus? Or is it because Yale is an Ivy League? No, please do not fall for this tricky question. Try to read about Yale's history, try to focus on one of the programs that really interest you at Yale. And then read your answer. If you can replace the name Yale with any other College name , then your answer is not perfect yet, and you're gonna have to work more on it.
I hope I helped ~LillyCullen
Ditto to everything LillyCullen mentioned. I think it should be very specific. Argg..I'm having trouble with the why yale statement too..I hate that 500 character limit since there's only room for like 1 thing, but I guess that's all they want.