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My dream school. The spirits of MIT's community is unlike anywhere else

AABMOSALAM1998 4 / 11 3  
Feb 14, 2017   #1
How does MIT align with your goals (e.g., academic, personal, career, extracurricular, etc.)? (200-250 words)*

"One Last Chance"

There are major problems in this world that needed to be solved, and the quest for finding answers is one of the primary conditions for having a good life. However, a journey like that requires companions, living ones and not dead companions who are concerned with trivialities. The spirits of MIT's community is unlike anywhere else. One of the most interesting facts about MIT is that there is a Chemistry Club open to chemistry majors, other students, with interest in chemistry, and faculty members. With faculty members providing an encouraging environment by reflecting their enthusiasm and motivation towards students telling them about a research project they were involved in.

The chemical engineering program at MIT covers a breadth of concentrations and knowledge of the kind of depth expected to address the world's' challenges in health, energy, and other areas and allows students to choose from these various concentrations his/her area of interest rather than being offered a single major without any concentration. I value the freedom of choice available at MIT, to have control over the choices which shape my future instead of restraining me from pursuing my passion. I also think that with several concentrations, I will have enormous flexibility during my years of study.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,031 2721  
Feb 14, 2017   #2
Abdelmoniem, there is no true representation of how MIT aligns with your future goals, be it academic, professional, extra curricular, or personal, in your response. Your response sounds too similar to the reasons that you have for transferring to MIT and therefore, does not properly represent the required information for this question. One of the ways that you can discuss this prompt is to focus on your future career goals. What kind of Engineer do you see yourself becoming in the future? What is the basis for that dream of yours? How does MIT fit in with that goal? Discuss the kind of training program and classes that you look forward to participating in as the foundation of this goal. That sort of response will show how MIT will manage to align itself with your special educational expectations or self required training programs or internships.
OP AABMOSALAM1998 4 / 11 3  
Feb 14, 2017   #3
What I am trying to emphasize in my first paragraph is with such environment from people equally absorbed in what they study as I am. I won't be giving up on my passion because sometimes it's not easy to stay enthusiastic and optimistic about something.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,031 2721  
Feb 14, 2017   #4
Then say that "the community of MIT directly aligns with my desire for..." There is no need for a flowery or wordy essay, which you have a tendency to write. Be direct to the point and clearly use the words that the reviewer will be looking for while scanning your essay. He will not be reading the full essay. Instead, he will be looking for the keywords such as "aligns, MIT, goals, academic, extra curricular, personal, professional". If he scans and sees one of those words in the paragraph, he will totally read only that part. Don't make his life difficult by having him analyze your paper for the response. If he doesn't see any proper keyword reference, then he may not have the time to analyze everything you have written to discover your response. He has to read hundreds of essays in one day. Make your essay count by giving him the answers he expects immediately, in a manner that he can easily comprehend. He is not stupid, but he doesn't have the time to waste looking for the meaning in your response. That is why it is a word limited response essay. Look, you only have 206 words written so far, you have the opportunity to revise your response to be clearer, concise, direct, and more relevant to the prompt requirements. Do exactly that and your chances will improve. Submit this version and will sound too much like your previous essay, which the reviewer will have also read, and result in the disregarding of the response you wrote for this essay prompt.
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82 50  
Feb 14, 2017   #5
Atia, your response really shows that you did not understand the prompt and, of course, it is impossible to answer a question you lack understanding for. The reviewer wants to know why, amidst other perfectly qualified applicants as you are, he/she should choose you. So, the 'why' should be answered in terms of what you want to do in the future after your studies and how MIT align in such plan. Align simply means how MIT will help you to achieve the future goals. Therefore, having given you the privilege of choosing from any of academic, professional, extracurricular, and personal goals, the reviewer seems to have availed you the opportunity of discussing various choices of future goals, provided it indicates how MIT aligns with it. For instance, if MIT is particular about Chemical and Mechanical Engineering, it would be wrong for you to discuss your professional plan of designing the first historic monument in you local community whereas you developed a flair for innovations in chemical production during your extracurricular activity. In this case, developing a future goal from your extracurricular experience will show better alignment with MIT's areas of research focus than that of your academic plan. Consider the example above as a tip that tends to spur you to think outside the box while drafting your goals with regard to MIT's alignment.

Also, since you have only 200-250 words at your disposal, it will help you better if you go straight to the point. Introduce your plan in the very first sentence of 1st paragraphs. Describe this plan in the next 2-3 sentences of the first paragraphs, it could be up to 4 sentences depending on your point and length of these sentences. In the second paragraph, talk about how MIT fit in the points enumerated in the first paragraph. Conclude your essay in the third paragraph by summarizing your points in three very short sentences. That way, you will surely come up with a strong and better essay than you what posted earlier.

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