Most students have an identity, an interest, or a talent that defines them in an essential way. Tell us about yourself.
In some East Asian countries, there are people who can predict the future known as the fortune teller or prescience. They usually look at the lines on your hand and tell the future, sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't. I believe that the lines can show our future, but it is still in our hands, so it depends on you. We own our identity. I decide my life, my future, my identity. Far from my parents and my family in Vietnam, I moved to the USA to make my own American dream, a better life.
"I do not dream success, I work for it." - My principal
In the fall of 2014, I had an opportunity to come to the United States of America to study. When I crossed the ocean to study, in the best country in the
world, I felt happy and exciting mix with some fear because I didn't know what would happen. If compared to my friends in Vietnam I am lucky to have a chance to learn American and the culture. I think the "language wall" is a problem for many immigrants, but for me, it is not the problem, I have studied since
3rd grade. That's why when I came to the school, in the first week, I made many friends. However, life always gives us challenges. My first report card in
America was just a 3.0 GPA because I got two B's in American Literature and the US History. My goal is to be accepted by the school of top 50 schools in the US and all that is required is more than 3.5 on GPA. I realized that I needed to work hard to augment my grade. I study a lot of vocabulary words and try to get acculturation from my friend, my neighborhood, my cousin. But sometimes I feel bored because I learned chemistry in 8th grade and 9th grade and I love chemistry, but in 10th grade, I did not have chemistry instead of biology, so I usually try to increase my cognizance of chemistry from studying at Khan
Academy.
Life challenges are not supposed to paralyze anybody, they are supposed to help you discover who you are, and what is right. Coming to the USA changed my life, my future; I learned how to be absolutely independent. It is the first time I see the world without the support of my parents. Independence makes me miss my mom's food, but it makes me go to the kitchen and begin learning about cooking because I think even though I live with my aunt, I have to be grown up, so I try to gain experience from everyone. It is not the time for waiting for Mon's dinner, nobody wakes me up in the morning, and nobody reminds me to do homework. I recognized that I need to do everything by myself. I learned how to cook, how to fix the pipe, the car. All of these jobs that I have not done before. I learn that the affable life is how we get more opportunities in life.
When I was sick, it was the battle of me against the disease, I know what I need to eat, what I need to meet, how to prevent it. After it, I knew I needed
to keep healthy and exercise. Because if I am not healthy, how can I help my parents, how can I accomplish my dream?
Coming to the USA to change my destiny, I have imagined if I was still in Vietnam what would happen, maybe I would take the standard test of Vietnam to
go to college and live like a normal person, nothing special and that is the opposite of my goal. Every day is different, every day is special. The USA
teaches me how to have a good life, help other people, how to be a confident and generous people, to let me know that is hard to grow, but everybody does.
Everyone has identity and my identity is to come to the United States of American to study and to be successful, to have a career and better life. A
negative mind will never give you a positive life, so I always believe that I will be successful if I work hard and be myself.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Chanh, this draft essay definitely works very well as a response to the background story. However, there was a slight deviation in the background direction when you discussed your academic grades. That removed the attention of the reviewer from your background story. If you would kindly remove that portion of the essay, the rest of the body should fall back into place. You see, the story about your grades did not really relate to your background as an immigrant student to the USA. Therefore, you should remove it. Your immigrant travails and challenges are interesting to read in the essay and the deviation removed from the enjoyment of that topic. Don't even discuss the Top 50 Schools in America portion. That again, relates to your academic challenges which are not related to your background story. The removal of the deviated topics should create a stronger and more relevant essay for the reviewer to consider with the rest of your common app essays.
