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I've dreamed of working in the medical field and caring for people


cutierlb 1 / 1  
Jun 9, 2013   #1
Every since the sixth grade, I've dreamed of working in the medical field and caring for people. This ultimate drive led me to purse a career in nursing. I recently cared for my aunt who had numerous strokes and was disable. She was also a registered nurse and was deceased January 2012. Throughout my experience, I've learned that you have to keep your mind open and alert for many potential situations. From that moment, I realized attending nursing school was for me. My goal is to graduate from the University of South Alabama, and work at the Biloxi Medical Regional Center as a postpardum nurse. I would like to further my education and become a Nurse Practitioner in Women's Health.
jole 2 / 7  
Jun 10, 2013   #2
recently I cared for my aunt who had numerous strokes and was disable
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 26, 2013   #3
Every since the sixth grade, I've dreamed of working in the medical field and caring for people.

Ever since I was in the sixth grade, I dreamed of a career in medicine and caring sick people..

This ultimate drive led me to purse a career in nursing.

Finally I found my destination at Nursing.

She was also a registered nurse and was deceased January 2012.

She too was a registered nurse and passed away in January 2012.
Make sure you give us the prompt in your post. This helps you earn more relevant comments for your response and we also can check whether you have answer is aligned with the prompt.
IntheClouds - / 8  
Jun 26, 2013   #4
Every Ever since the sixth grade, I've dreamed dreamt of working in the medical field and caring for people.

"Dreamed" and "dreamt" can be used interchangeably, but my personal preference is for dreamt. (You, of course, may use whichever term you wish).

Despite Dumi's correction, I believe that your original use of "I've" rather than just "I" is correct and that it is best not to change it.

This ultimate drive ledhas ultimately driven me to pursepursue a career in nursing.

I recently cared for my aunt who had numerous strokes and was disabledisabled.

She was also a registered nurse and was deceasedpassed away January 2012.

Saying that someone "passed away" has a more positive connotation than "was deceased."

Also, the statement is unclear. One interpretation is the one that Dumi offered that states that "She too was a registered nurse." This statement indicates that your Aunt, like you, is a registered nurse. Since this appears to be an application for nursing school, I suspect that you are not a nurse yet and that this statement would therefore be inaccurate. I would consider re-writing the entire sentence to say "My Aunt was a registered nurse, but sadly she passed away in January 2012."

My goal is to graduate from the University of South Alabama, and work at the Biloxi Medical Regional Center as a postpardumpostpartum nurse.
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Jun 28, 2013   #5
If you're still out there and looking for revisions, just wanted to incorporate IntheClouds's suggestions:

Ever since the sixth grade, I have dreamed [or "dreamt"] of working in the medical field and caring for people. This drive ultimately led me to pursue a career in nursing. I recently cared for my aunt, who had numerous strokes and was disabled . She was a registered nurse and passed away in January 2012. Throughout my experience [Your experience doing what? Caring for your aunt? Coping with her death?] , I havelearned to keep my mind open and be alert for many potential situations. [What kinds of potential situations?] From that moment, I realized that attending nursing school was for me. My goal is to graduate from the University of South Alabama and work at the Biloxi Medical Regional Center as a postpartum nurse. [Why postpartum nursing?] I would like to further my education and become a Nurse Practitioner in Women's Health.


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