Hello, I'm writing this essay for my application to Maryland Institute College of Art. Any feedback would be appreciated!
Here is the prompt:
Write an autobiographical essay that tells us something about yourself that you feel is significant to your application and our perception of you.
The mind has the power to discover, control, and create its own world.
Writing an autobiography is an attempt to answer the question, "who am I?" with stories about my past, and how they created who I am today. Ever since my experiences with psychology classes, the question "who am I?" has become very difficult to answer. In a course about abnormal psychology, I came to a startling realization when we learned about dissociative identity disorder (more commonly known as multiple personality disorder). The realization came about when I learned that these personality switches could coincide with actual physical changes, such as allergies and the quality of their eye sight. When the brain switched its identity, new brain patterns emerged that could change almost anything which we usually deem very personal, special qualities.
This realization dissolved the human identity into not much more than a machine, growing and changing independently as the world feeds it information. Knowing this simultaneously filled me with the limitless power of change and trapped me in the confining reality of habitual, predictable brain patterns. If we are just computers interpreting the universe in a set way, our individuality is only a momentary illusion. We feel unique each moment, but we are ever-changing, and with dissociative identity disorder, at an exaggerated level it can all change in the blink of an eye.
The conscious mind is more often than not habitual and predictable, yet is always influenced by things behind the scenes. What makes life interesting is the randomness we encounter every moment. Unexplainable emotions, crossing paths with people in the world, the weather we attempt to predict-these are all caused by forces too complex to trace back and explain with logic, yet are always influencing our thoughts and decisions. One of these unexplainable forces I find fascinating is the human subconscious.
The most clear look into the subconscious is in dreams. They are a combination of memories that when put together have a clear cohesion but do not make sense when thought about later. One might think, "if only I could become more aware while I was dreaming...then maybe I could explore and figure out what it all means." This has been an idea of mine for some time when I learned about a concept called lucid dreaming, or conscious dreaming. One can become aware of their dream and experience the dream first hand, rather than as a foggy memory after waking up. In this state, the conscious and subconscious are all that exist. They are able to interact seamlessly, unlike in the waking state.
This interaction between the two is simply a balance of control over the imagination. One can choose to control every aspect of the dream, or let the subconscious take control, as would happen in a normal dream. In a lucid dream, you could decide to make a door appear in front of you, but not think about where the door leads. By not thinking, opening the door leaves everything up to the subconscious imagination. The doorway could lead you anywhere your imagination can come up with, but by remaining conscious, you are actually able to explore and make decisions in this dream world. You can essentially create your own dreams, or explore along a path created subconsciously.
Stream of consciousness and discovery are both a large part of my interest in visual art. You can never quite predict exactly what will appear on the canvas, and this uncertainty is what I find so compelling. Whenever materials are transferred to a blank slate, they transform and interact with one another. A stick of charcoal breaks away into dust on the surface, causing slight imperfections and patterns to emerge as layers are added or removed. Oil paint is always moving and changing as more is brushed onto the canvas. While it could be labeled a lack of control over the material, I like to embrace these imperfections. It is as if it is the material brings forth its own creativity to the process, just like the subconscious does when it is allowed control within a lucid dream.
The interaction between artist and material is what makes creating art so enjoyable, but what about after the piece is completed? What matters then is viewer interaction. While a still image gives visual space for the viewer to explore with their eyes, there is a limitation to it. Just what lies behind the rock over there? And what sort of things could you find in the forest covering the horizon? An interactive world made with computers gives viewers actual space to explore on their own. They have a wider range of choices to make while exploring a scene, which can be more engaging, fun, and rewarding. I have always enjoyed video games and find them to be a very powerful medium for becoming engaged with a conceptual idea set forth by the artist.
It has been an ongoing endeavor to be aware of how my own thought processes work so I can do things to strengthen my weaknesses and continue doing what I do well and enjoy. It can be difficult to weigh all of the possible choices and follow just one. It is not a decision that is difficult because everything must be balanced. How can I integrate as much of my knowledge, skills, interests, curiosities, and passions together as one creative unit? How does one program himself to be most clearly expressive?
Drawing: Creating a two-dimensional image that convinces the human eye that it is an actual space. Animation: bringing life to the space, and bringing context and excitement to everything within the space. Interactivity: creating a way for anyone to explore and discover all that there is to see within the created space. I have all of these interests I which to develop within my consciousness, so that I may share them with my subconscious and discover what possible worlds there are to explore within this dream world called reality.
Capitalize:
Writing an autobiography is an attempt to answer the question, "Who am I?" with stories about my
our individuality is only a momentary illusion. ---Oh, I think you are onto something important here... ego death! There is much to be said for "union."
The most clearest look into ...
Capitalize: One might think, "If only I could
For a nice style of writing, keep the verb tense consistent in each sentence: I have always enjoyed video games and found them to be
Excellent work here... your teacher will be proud of you!
