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Essay on your dreams and how u plan on achieving them and future plans (KAIST Application UG)

Muhammad8870 1 / -  
Apr 19, 2021   #1

"What am I going to do after this?"

This question always crosses my mind every once in a while as I am a 12th-year high school student. The majority of my friends are going to local universities in my country. At first, I was thinking about doing the same, too, but then I asked myself again, then what will set me apart from others? What will make me stand out and different? Therefore, I decided to continue my education abroad. After extensive research, I finally decided on KAIST as it is a renowned institute in South Korea and has an excellent reputation among universities in the world for computer science. Another reason is that Korea is rated highly in the field of computer technology development. As a student who wants to major in computer science, there is no doubt that KAIST will be the best for me. Of course, getting admission to such a great university is no easy task, so I engage in extracurricular activities while studying hard to get good grades. In KAIST, I plan to deepen my knowledge in Machine learning(ML), Mass data(data science), and Artificial Intelligence(AI). I want to learn about web and software development as I dream do start my own company someday. An Undergraduate degree from KAIST will be the perfect foundation to help me achieve my dream
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,699 3503  
Apr 20, 2021   #2
You cannot imply that something is always on your mind, but then also, that you think about it once in a while. That is a conflicting statement. Either you are constantly engaged in these thoughts or, you sporadically think about it. There is no real professional ambition indicated in this essay, just a dream of studying abroad to be different from everyone else. That is not going to help your application. It just sounds like you want to be different, but for no reason. Nothing related to career plans, learning goals, or even a desire to get a better education. Your essay is too simplistic in approach. It does not carry information that would make you stand out. It is a forgettable essay that does not offer any implication for your dreams and reasons for wishing to pursue it with the help of KAIST. You should delete this and try to come up with a more definitive and informative essay. A definitive essay has a clear purpose based on your dreams. An informative essay presents your ideas for achieving your purpose.
miftahul 1 / 2  
Apr 20, 2021   #3
I suggest you think a bit more practical. First, try to identify the problems or shortcomings you would like to solve, perhaps something that has been bothering you or your surrounding for sometimes. Then, try to break it down into several area, to understand the sources of the problems: structural, personal, or institutional. Your solutions or what are you going to do should be based on your perception of the problems. Afterward, all you need to do is literature review and find out what has been done to solve that particular problem so that you can innovate.

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