"Hi, I am an international student who is not proficient in academic writing, so writing personal statements and motivation letters are a burden to me on my studying abroad journey :<
Thank you to anyone who would spend their time reading and providing feedbacks, I appreciate your effort a lot!
I would like opinion on:
- Right now, I want to break my essay into three main part: - who I am ; - why electronic engineering ; - why CUHK. Am I not focusing on "why CUHK" enough throughout my essay?
- Should I also include a "why Hong Kong" paragraph?
- Is the essay hard to read? Does it contain too much awkward wording and paraphrasing?
Once again, thank you anyone provided feedbacks!
Topic: "You have to submit one personal statement with no more than 4000 characters via the online application system, telling us why you choose the programme(s) in your application."
I dropped out of my school's Physics Olympiad Training Program. Not because of stress or burnout, but to follow my desired future path: I have a deep passion for electronics and an ambitious future ahead. Growing up, I was a very determined person who would dare to make bold decisions to follow my passion and belief. Today, I am making that bold decision once again by taking my academic journey overseas to the dynamic, well-rounded Electronic Engineering undergraduate program at The Chinese University of Hong Kong (CUHK), preparing myself for the upcoming technical revolution across engineering disciplines led by AI.
Early on in my childhood, my parents had always encouraged me to explore various STEM fields, but Physics stood out to me because of the spatial thinking and logical reasoning behind every problem. This interest soon transformed into discipline and ambition, which motivated me to enter a high school for students gifted in science and train for the school's Physics Olympiad team.
Throughout my first year in the training program, I encountered increasingly advanced theories and abstract concepts in multiple physics fields, but Electromagnetism and Electronics interested me the most: It is almost magical how years of human advancement can be condensed into tiny integrated circuits that power modern technology. Despite opposition from my family and program leader, I left the training program to devote more time to studying electronics extensively.
Joining my school's robotics team was my first major step. From a student who had no prior programming experience nor electronics knowledge, I became one of the lead electricians of my team participating in a national level competition through a period of comprehensive training and experimenting. From designing PCBs to implementing control algorithms for robots, I developed a deep passion for electronics and wanted to understand the fundamental principles governing them.
However, the more I learned, the more I became aware of what I did not know. I could only use electronic components without an exhaustive understanding of their capabilities or why they are designed in a certain way: how signal processing is handled on a PCB or how analog signals are manipulated. As a high school student balancing schoolwork and independent learning, I could only go so far on my own. This is why CUHK's Electronic Engineering program strongly appeals to me.
CUHK offers both the technical depth and the learning environment I am looking for. Alongside foundational specialized courses such as signals and systems fundamentals or electric circuits, an electronics undergrad at CUHK is also taught robotic perception and intelligence and micro-optic devices and systems - which reflect recent advancement in technology. I am also excited about CUHK's collegiate system, fostering interpersonal skills and social responsibility. For an engineer, being able to cooperate, communicate, and work across disciplines is crucial for a future research career.
My long-term plan extends beyond completing an undergraduate degree. I hope to join exchange programs during my time at CUHK and later pursue postgraduate study in another country to experience a different academic environment, developing a professional working ethic across unique circumstances. In the long run, I want to return to Vietnam and contribute to my country's growing semiconductor and electronics industries. By bringing back both technical expertise and international experience, I hope to play a meaningful role in strengthening Vietnam's capacity in these fields.
As a determined student, CUHK is the place where I can turn my passion and ambition into a strong technical foundation, enabling me to explore electronics across disciplines and grow through CUHK's international and collaborative environment. I am excited for the next stage of my academic journey in the innovative city of Hong Kong, at CUHK.
Thank you to anyone who would spend their time reading and providing feedbacks, I appreciate your effort a lot!
I would like opinion on:
- Right now, I want to break my essay into three main part: - who I am ; - why electronic engineering ; - why CUHK. Am I not focusing on "why CUHK" enough throughout my essay?
- Should I also include a "why Hong Kong" paragraph?
- Is the essay hard to read? Does it contain too much awkward wording and paraphrasing?
Once again, thank you anyone provided feedbacks!
Topic: "You have to submit one personal statement with no more than 4000 characters via the online application system, telling us why you choose the programme(s) in your application."
I dropped out of my school's Physics Olympiad Training Program. Not because of stress or burnout, but to follow my desired future path: I have a deep passion for electronics and an ambitious future ahead. Growing up, I was a very determined person who would dare to make bold decisions to follow my passion and belief. Today, I am making that bold decision once again by taking my academic journey overseas to the dynamic, well-rounded Electronic Engineering undergraduate program at The Chinese University of Hong Kong (CUHK), preparing myself for the upcoming technical revolution across engineering disciplines led by AI.
Early on in my childhood, my parents had always encouraged me to explore various STEM fields, but Physics stood out to me because of the spatial thinking and logical reasoning behind every problem. This interest soon transformed into discipline and ambition, which motivated me to enter a high school for students gifted in science and train for the school's Physics Olympiad team.
Throughout my first year in the training program, I encountered increasingly advanced theories and abstract concepts in multiple physics fields, but Electromagnetism and Electronics interested me the most: It is almost magical how years of human advancement can be condensed into tiny integrated circuits that power modern technology. Despite opposition from my family and program leader, I left the training program to devote more time to studying electronics extensively.
Joining my school's robotics team was my first major step. From a student who had no prior programming experience nor electronics knowledge, I became one of the lead electricians of my team participating in a national level competition through a period of comprehensive training and experimenting. From designing PCBs to implementing control algorithms for robots, I developed a deep passion for electronics and wanted to understand the fundamental principles governing them.
However, the more I learned, the more I became aware of what I did not know. I could only use electronic components without an exhaustive understanding of their capabilities or why they are designed in a certain way: how signal processing is handled on a PCB or how analog signals are manipulated. As a high school student balancing schoolwork and independent learning, I could only go so far on my own. This is why CUHK's Electronic Engineering program strongly appeals to me.
CUHK offers both the technical depth and the learning environment I am looking for. Alongside foundational specialized courses such as signals and systems fundamentals or electric circuits, an electronics undergrad at CUHK is also taught robotic perception and intelligence and micro-optic devices and systems - which reflect recent advancement in technology. I am also excited about CUHK's collegiate system, fostering interpersonal skills and social responsibility. For an engineer, being able to cooperate, communicate, and work across disciplines is crucial for a future research career.
My long-term plan extends beyond completing an undergraduate degree. I hope to join exchange programs during my time at CUHK and later pursue postgraduate study in another country to experience a different academic environment, developing a professional working ethic across unique circumstances. In the long run, I want to return to Vietnam and contribute to my country's growing semiconductor and electronics industries. By bringing back both technical expertise and international experience, I hope to play a meaningful role in strengthening Vietnam's capacity in these fields.
As a determined student, CUHK is the place where I can turn my passion and ambition into a strong technical foundation, enabling me to explore electronics across disciplines and grow through CUHK's international and collaborative environment. I am excited for the next stage of my academic journey in the innovative city of Hong Kong, at CUHK.
