1. You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.
"Why don't you just drop the class?" my mom asked me, "It seems like it will be more stress than it is worth." The idea seemed absurd to me; I had never dropped any class before, especially not in a subject I excelled in, such as chemistry. Dropping seemed comparable to failing, to giving up, even to quitting.
"No, I will not drop it," I replied, "It might be a lot of hard work, but hopefully it will pay off in the end." I never anticipated the amount of work that I would end up doing for that class, though. Before every test I spent hours solving practice problems from previous AP exams. Once the AP test was close, our teacher gave us packets filled with practice problems sorted by topic. For a few weeks before the AP test, my life was chemistry; I carried my practice problems and book everywhere with me, and whenever I had extra time, I would bring them out and work on a problem. I did and redid every problem in my review book, taught myself nuclear and organic chemistry, and memorized any information that I would possibly need on the exam.
My hard work eventually paid off when I received an A in the class first semester and scored a 5 on the AP exam. My second semester grade, however, was one-tenth of a percent away from an A. When I reflect on my decision, I am glad that I stuck with the class, even though I did not receive a perfect grade in the class. Taking AP Chemistry really showed me how determined I am to learn and how much self-motivation I possess.
Throughout my academic career, my parents never pushed me to work harder; they let me choose how much I wanted to challenge myself and would not have questioned my decision if I had dropped AP Chemistry. I, however, have always strived for excellence in my education while still challenging myself. It is through my own choice that I have taken honors and advanced placement classes and doubled up on science classes two years in a row. As a young child I possessed a love for learning that inspired me to read many books, do math in the summer for fun, and conduct my own small-scale science experiments. I have retained that love for learning, and it is what has truly driven me to push myself as hard as I could in high school, not only in school, but also in extracurricular activities such as Model United Nations and my summer lab work. My love of learning and willingness to attain excellence while still challenging myself will help me succeed in college and life beyond.
This is my first rough draft, and it would be great if you guys could help me perfect it! Thanks!
Why hello there! I really like your topic. I also liked how "showed" but didn't "tell" for most of the essay. However, use more adjectives, and be more descriptive! For example this sentence "For a few weeks before the AP test, my life was chemistry; I carried my practice problems and book everywhere with me, and whenever I had extra time, I would bring them out and work on a problem. I did and redid every problem in my review book, taught myself nuclear and organic chemistry, and memorized any information that I would possibly need on the exam." has A LOT more potential. You didn't just carry your practice problems book you lugged it from class to class. You didn't just bring them out. You hurriedly slammed the book on your desk to surreptitiously sneak in a few problems during class. You didn't just do and redo problems you cautiously and meticulously pursued the answer like the crazy guy from the short story "The Most Dangerous Game." You didn't just teach yourself nuclear and organic chemistry you explored and conquered those topic. You get the picture. There is so much more to say! I know you only have 500 words, but if push comes to shove you can delete the last paragraph, which was mostly "telling" instead of "showing." If you use more adjectives who you are will become so much clearer than stating where your ambition comes from or how it will help you in college. They know it will help you in college. It will help you anywhere! I once heard that there was no such thing as good writing, only good rewriting. :) I'm sure your rewrite will be excellent. I wish you the best, my dear!
