issue of importance essay
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
Would appreciate if someone took a look at this and gave me some feedback. Some things may be worded weird, but this is just a rough draft. Thanks in advance.
In 2008, the National Bureau of Economic Research had publically announced that the United States was in a deep recession. This announcement had come as no surprise because many economists had predicted a recession due to the economic decline since late 2007. One of the largest contributing factors is the housing bubble, which has caused millions of Americans to lose their homes by foreclosure. Additionally, what was once a worthy investment to real estate gurus and homeowners, the value of homes has dropped significantly, causing many to lose thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars, and ultimately, their homes. The faltering housing market had forced banks to borrow money from the Federal government in order to avoid a collapse in not only the banking system, but also the global financial system. As a result, the economic crisis not only affects my family and me, but also my friends, and millions of citizens across America.
Unfortunately, the recession imposes adversity on my future as a student, and my position as a jobseeker after graduation. As an aspiring business major, I plan on furthering my studies related to accounting and, with high unemployment throughout the country, it will be extremely difficult for me to gain financial security. The inability to find stable employment greatly affects my student loans, as repaying them will be substantially difficult. Because of the job market, many would-be students do not find worth in college if they are unable to find a job relating to their undergraduate studies. Not only does this pertain to me, but also millions of college students across the nation.
Due to economic turmoil, my family has faced many challenges. My father was let go of a job that he had occupied for 25 years, and was unable to find employment for nine months preceding his departure. This situation had caused him extreme financial hardship, and was on the brink of bankruptcy before finding the job he currently holds. Additionally, the declining housing market had caused his home to be "under water," which essentially means that he owes more on the house than it is worth. Furthermore, as a recent college graduate, my sister has struggled to find full-time employment pertinent to her undergraduate studies. As a result, she has worked small waitressing jobs in hopes to gain financial stability while repaying her college debt.
Harry S. Truman once said that "it's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours." With millions of people out of work, and no recovery in sight for the housing market, economists have claimed that the nation will not see a recovery until 2018, at the earliest. What does the future hold for you, and me? Will there be different economic and fiscal policies regarding the practices of large financial corporations? I hope to aid the process of pulling the economy out of the recession and back into economic growth. I also hope to propose a more efficient budget and financial system that would allow individuals and corporations to cut spending, and better stimulate the economy.I like your paper. It's very good, solid, and I like how you take a large scale problem and speak of it on a personal, yet professional level. You conclusion is strong in my opinion because I feel like you are very purposeful and clear with your academic and personal intentions.
"..causing many to lose thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars." I had to read that part of the sentence twice to notice the break between 'thousands' and 'hundreds of thousands'. Maybe..."cause many to lose anywhere between one thousand to hundreds of thousands"?
My father had beenwas let go ..., and was virtually unable to find ...
You're a good writer
Thank you! I will look at your revisions.
Anymore feedback? :)
Yay. I would love for you to look at mine!
I will once I find some more time after the completion of mine.
Anymore thoughts on my essay? :)
I think the content is awesome and profound. I read through it again, and can't find any more technical or grammatical errors. It's a very good paper. You're a good writer all around. Good luck!
and millions of citizens across America.
I plan on furthering my studies relatinged to accounting
As a student of economics I hope to aid my country and my fellow studies with the knowledge that I will acquire in my studies. I am hopeful that I will find a solution that will turn the economic recession that we are now in into an economic boom where we can all prosper.
this was a good essay overall and i like the Harry S. Truman quote.
Good luck and I hope my suggestions helped.
Please look at mine when you have time.
Thanks for your comment. I'm not sure if you mean that I'm going to be studying economics as my major. I'm studying accounting, but have taken economics classes, if that is what you are referring to. I included budgeting because I plan on doing governmental accounting.
Hi blind527.
Read my comments, just for minor errors;
1. In 2008, the National Bureau of Economic Research had publically announced that the United States was in a deep recession ==> The National Bureau of Economic Research had publically announced that the United States was in a deep recession, shivering millions of people, in 2008.
2. As a result, the economic crisis not only affects my family and me, but also my friends, and millions of citizens across America ==> ...has not affected my family and me...
3. ...it will be extremely difficult for me to gain financial security ==> it is extremely...
4. Due to economic turmoil, my family has faced many challenges ==> the economic turmoil has brought many challenges to my family.
5. Do not use as a result more than one time.
Overall, I liked your essay. Just pay attention to the sentence structures and vary it. The reader will be impressed by various sentence structures.
I wish you good luck! :)
PS: Have a look to my essay and give your feedbacks.
Hi, Ulugbek. Thank you for your recent edits. However, I do not feel that they have strengthened the content of my essay. I like some of your edits, and actually used parts in my essay! I will look at yours very soon :) Thanks again!
