Topic: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
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The experience that has most impacted me was coming to the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics. There were many changes and challenges that were expected, some welcome, some painful, but all quite worthwhile.
I had to leave my friends and family and knew that tested ties would either be severed or strengthened, but those most important to me would always stay in contact. At NCSSM, I encountered a plethora of new friends; however, I never expected many of those friends to be teachers. Residential life allows for the opportunity to develop more personal relationships with professors. Sipping espresso in their offices, discussing assignments, literature and writers, food and healthy living, philosophy, life problems, and new theories and discoveries within assigned works and in my own extended research is an experience I love as much as being with friends my own age.
The individuals I have met at this intellectual haven have been the most beautiful and inspiring people I have ever known. Likewise, many of them have expressed gratitude for how I have shaped their lives. My unique perspective, childlike inquisitiveness, and passionate hunger for knowledge made them notice missed details, develop new ideas, and question what was once believed to be fact. When asked to describe me, a surprising number of them replied "generous." Reflecting on their answer, I understand their choice. Seeing a fellow student and good friend struggle to support her family and numerous siblings through her mother's breast cancer last year truly changed me. She reminded me through her perseverance and love that responsibility is not only about taking care of yourself and your actions, but also is a duty to others. Expanding upon this idea, I found that this should not only be the case when it is necessary to help others, but when it is possible. On many nights, I stayed up well into the morning helping classmates work on assignments and understand materials, recommending classes and teachers well fit for an underclassman's interests and personality, listening to friends as they go through emotional trouble, and only after helping them did I begin my own assignments. I have spent entire days baking cupcakes and brownies and cooking dinners for halls to de-stress before exams. I do not wish only to help my schoolmates, but hopefully to inspire them to make small gestures of kindness toward others-not because they must, but because they are able.
Many of my expectations of the school and its residents have been accurate. I have developed excellent time management skills, become more independent, been delighted to find teachers and students as passionately devoted and interested in their topics as I am, and learned to take responsibility and recover from mistakes. However, many self-discoveries and changes were unexpected.
One reason that I've succeeded at this school was that I am not grade oriented, but focused rather on the progress-including that outside of the assignment. I am not satisfied with minimal requirements, and I poured more effort into developing my ideas. I no longer see high school as solely a step to college; furthermore, I make use of the resources-teachers, literature, classmates, visiting professors and experts in various fields-to better myself not only as a student, but also as a person. Likewise, I see Duke not only as a step toward the job market, but as a journey to continue my growth, feed my intellectual curiosity, be surrounded and inspired by excellent students and teachers, and hopefully, become someone else's inspiration.
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Any feedback, ideas, and grammatical corrections are most welcome!
I had to leave my friends and family, and I knew that tested ties would either be severed or strengthened, but those most important to me would always stay in contact.
This part is unnecessary:
Reflecting on their answer, I understand their choice.
Seeing a fellow student struggle to support her family and numerous siblings through her mother's breast cancer last year truly changed me.
Great sentence: She reminded me through her perseverance and love that responsibility is not only about taking care of yourself and your actions, but also is a duty to others.
How about a dash to help manage this long sentence:
On many nights, I stayed up well into the morning helping classmates work on assignments and understand materials, recommending classes and teachers well fit for an underclassman's interests and personality, listening to friends as they go through emotional trouble -- and only after helping them did I begin my own assignments.
I am not satisfied with minimal requirements, so I poured more effort into developing my ideas. I no longer see high school as solely a step toward college; furthermore, I make use of the resources-teachers, literature, classmates, visiting professors and experts in various fields-to better myself not only as a student, but also as a person.
Well done! This makes you seem very serious and motivated - and well-spoken.
