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Duke essay and scientific research by a Taiwanese Student


s61001234 7 / 14  
Dec 31, 2009   #1
Help!
Need it on 1/1!!

For the first essay, I have some problem fixing the example about the Duke Student

For the scientific research , I wrote too much about the scientific details but I don't know how to shorten it. Not many people know about Chladni patterns so I explained the mechanism first.

Should I write what I learn from the experience? For example, after a year-long endeavor, I realized that every single concept and equation in text books can be the painstaking effort of scientists. Furthermore, scientific project are not neutral as I thought. We may be biased by our assumption and misinterpretate scientific data or phenomena. Most of all, science lays it foundation on countless failures and trials. Again and again, my result deviate from my expectation and I have to adjust the procedure and method.

1.Why engineering and why Duke

(For Engineering Applicants Only) If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.

Why biomedical engineering? Being a practical person, I want to directly help out with humanity's problems, and that is why I am attracted to biomedical engineering at Duke. As opposed to the abstract physical sciences or speculative business, biomedical engineering is a practical discipline that will enable me to help others in a hands-on manner. I have always been interested in helping out with global health issues, such as AIDS in Africa, or SARS in Taiwan. With my strong science background, along with my interest in sociology and international relations, I see biomedical engineering as the best pathway for me to bring together my talents and interests, and serve society.

Why Duke? I believe that it is important to consider multiple perspectives when looking at the problems of the 21st century. That is why I believe that knowledge should not be restricted to specific disciplines, and it is this belief that causes me to be so attracted to Duke. Duke emphasizes interdisciplinary education, which would allow me to combine my background in the physical sciences with my interest in the social sciences. Also, Duke is close to North Carolina's famous Research Triangle Park, and I hear that 2/3 of the students are involved in projects. This makes me excited, because as an undergraduate, I would love to participate in cutting-edge research with such a distinguished and approachable faculty. Beyond research, I am also drawn to the attitudes that Duke students bring to the school. For example, I read about Stesha Doku, a biomedical engineering major and Pratt Undergraduate Research fellow. Besides developing a new oral gene therapy for diabetes, she conducted a water supply assessment in Uganda and built a rainwater harvesting system with her classmates for the locals. I am drawn to Duke students' thirst for learning, active approach to studying, their cooperative attitude towards their classmates, and their determination to make a difference in the world.

Lastly, I am a big fan of the Blue Devil. In Taiwan I can only watch ball games through broadcast, but I cannot wait to paint myself in blue and cheer in Coach K's Court.

All in all, at Duke, I hope to pursue my passions with my peers, and lay the foundation for a rewarding career that will enable me to contribute to mankind.

Essay 2

2. Duke Scientific Research essay

If you have participated in any significant research activity outside of school, please provide a brief description and limit your response to one or two paragraphs.

------------------

In my junior year, my classmate and I investigated why Chladni Patterns could form at non-model frequencies in Chung Tsing University. Normally, when a plate is stimulated at its model frequency, a 2-dimentional standing waves forms. As we spread sands on the plates, the sands stayed on the nodes and formed into Chladni patterns. However, we observed a series of continual patterns between 80Hz to 95Hz which were not at any model of frequency. To understand the mechanism behind, we used two softwares named Ansys and Matlab to calculate the model frequencies of our square aluminum plate and combined its two consecutive model frequencies in different ratios. Eventually, the result proved that combinations of two model frequencies can cause Chladni patterns to form at non-model frequencies. This technique can be implemented in Civic Engineering and acoustic research.

After conducting this year-long project, I realized that every single concept and equation in text books can be the lifelong endeavor of scientists. For example, we have spent three months to collect the right data from the software, and another two months to refine our theory, and one month to organize a formal science report. However difficult and time-consuming the project was, I am glad to have such a remarkable experience. In the future, I aspire to participate in interdisciplinary research to address problems that humanity faces.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 1, 2010   #2
Should I write what I learn from the experience? For example, after a year-long endeavor, I realized that every single concept and equation in text books can be the painstaking effort of scientists.

Yes! This is great material. Say it in as few words as possible so that it is powerful and full of meaning. Do not use any unnecessary words.

...bio-medical engineering is something a practical disciplin e that would allow will enable. ...

For essay 2, the first paragraph should be like an abstract. I think you should add one sentence that explains your procedure just a little bit, and then it will be just like an abstract to a journal article:

In my junior year, my ... standing waves forms. (add a sentence about specific procedure). As we spread sands on the plates, the sands stayed on the nodes and form into Chladni patterns. However, we observed a series of continual patterns between 80Hz to 95Hz which are not at any model of frequency. (add a sentence about the implications of this observation.)

Very impressive!!!!!!!
OP s61001234 7 / 14  
Jan 2, 2010   #3
EF_Kevin
Thanks a lot
I am fixing it now
I will post it back after finishing it
Please take a look at it again^__^
Thank you
OP s61001234 7 / 14  
Jan 2, 2010   #4
Help!Duke essay by a Taiwanese Student

Submitting it now
Any response is appreciated^__^
I will help you edit your essay too

I don't know whether my research essay is too detailed?
Because not many people know about Chladni Patterns,
so I gave a "brief" explanation of the mechanism behind.
demuredelight 2 / 22  
Jan 2, 2010   #5
Hi,
A strength of your essay is that you give detailed evidence to show how much you know about Duke.It is great as it is obvious that you did your research well.

I have only a few suggestions for the first essay.Hope it's useful to you.

Think of other words to replace 'help out'like 'solve problems','contribute' and 'devote oneself' to show your strong sincerity
Your explanation elaborates on why you like engineering(being practical) but shows less about why you like biology. Try to give some reasons and make your reasons concrete(e.g., pharmaceutical research)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 8, 2010   #6
This is so good!!! In the first one, I think you do not even need the questions at the start:

Why biomedical engineering? Being a practical person, I want to directly help out with humanity's ...

Why Duke? I believe that

The second one is great, too... right up until this weak sentence:
In the future, I aspire to participate in interdisciplinary research to address problems that humanity faces.---- I think you should replace this sentence with one that ends with mention of _____, ________, and ________ (three specific problems/progress you can address)

:-)
OP s61001234 7 / 14  
Jan 10, 2010   #7
Thanks April and Kevin
I really appreciate your detailed response

Sorry to respond so late

This week, I have been dealing with my new classes
and contacting my parents in Taiwan for the financial statement forms and tax return form


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