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Duke, Why Trinity? : Program II, availability of choices


sd6599 1 / 1  
Dec 27, 2016   #1
I'm applying to Duke's Trinity School.
The essay prompt is: If you are applying to the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences as a first year applicant, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you? (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)

Here's my response:

I love sandwiches.


It's not how easy they are to make, or the simplicity of the dish that captures my heart. It's the infinite combinations available. Peanut butter and chili sauce? Why not. With sandwiches, I'm spoilt for choice.

It is this love for combinations and options that draws me to Duke. With Program II, I won't have to bind myself to one major. Rather, I can take courses like POLSCI 332 and ECON 361 to simultaneously explore my love for both political science and economics. I want to understand today's financial markets as well as the political bodies devising the policies that govern them. But to me Duke is not just its academic offerings. From working in Rwanda with DukeEngage, to acting in Sweeney Todd with Hoof 'n' Horns, I know there won't be a limit to the sandwiches I make at Duke.

(143/150)

Crystor 3 / 10 1  
Dec 27, 2016   #2
Love your work!!! It is absolutely attractive to use sandwiches to explain diversity.

These sentenses look awkward. Maybe they're too casual. It's not how easy they are to make, or the simplicity of the dish that captures my heart. It's the infinite combinations available.
rnsnz18 10 / 33 4  
Dec 27, 2016   #3
@sd6599
Very good essay, I'm not very sure how well can function the transition of combinations between the sandwiches and Duke Programs. It really seem that you've done your research about the University, this shows to the readers the interest you have in their College. I'm aware the short space you have to write because of the words limit, but in this kind of essays it's good to talk about why you love their College and why they should love you. You only focus on the first thing, perhaps you can say something you can bring to the Duke community so both you and Duke will be benefited by admitting you.
OP sd6599 1 / 1  
Dec 28, 2016   #4
@Crystor

All right, I'll see if I can rephrase it a bit.
Sure! I'll just give them a read

@rnsnz18

I tried expounding on that, but everything just came across as half-baked so I took one theme and ran along with it. I thought showing that I love diversity/diverging interests would show what I bring to Duke? Do you think I should restructure it a little to bring more emphasis on the diverging interests?

Sure! I'll just review it
rnsnz18 10 / 33 4  
Dec 29, 2016   #5
@sd6599
No don't restructure your essay, the strenght of your essays is about the deep interest you have on their College, maybe look for any unnecessary word to be able to add maybe a sentence about whay can you bring to Duke, besides, you still have seven words left with that essay, if there is another section in thebapplication to talk about that then dont listen to my suggestion, your essay is really strong now, I just hope that suggestion can make it stronger


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