Hard work and perseverance are important qualities in motivated students. Throughout my life, participation in Boy Scouts has taught me that these important qualities are essential to leading a healthy, productive life. Because I grew up in a small town, there was not much for me to do; thus, much of my time was spent with my friends in Cub Scouts, the forerunner to Boy Scouts. During our weekly meetings, I learned how to make simple crafts such as invisible ink, a derby car, or a birdhouse. As I grew older, my friends and I progressed through the ranks of Cub Scouts, but with our age came the 'uncoolness' of Scouts. Many of my friends dropped out, and by my thirteenth birthday I was the only one left of our original group of nine boys.
Although it was lonely being by myself, I stayed in scouts because I enjoyed it. I quickly made new friends in other scouts who had joined at a different time than me. I quickly learned how to work together with others through interacting with my peers, and through that partnership I found that hard work makes projects much easier and faster. As a part of scouts, it was necessary for me to earn community service in order to progress. I performed my service in a variety of ways, always to the best of my ability.
Working on my Eagle Scout project was the toughest challenge I faced in scouts. My project consisted of landscaping a community center that had just been constructed in my town. In order to do this, I had to be able to talk to strangers. This kind of activity is not very comfortable for me, as I find it difficult to talk to people I don't know, much less ask them for a donation of their money or their wares. Through the help of my parents, however, I overcame my fears as I talked to more people, each conversation becoming more fluid than the last.
The main point of an eagle project is to let the eagle candidate learn how to be an effective leader on his own. After collecting the donations needed for my project, I began construction. We dug holes, planted plants and trees, and hauled several tons of rocks to the site. Overall, the project logged almost two hundred and fifty hours of community service, all under my supervision.
When I first joined my troop, I was elected as the Patrol Leader for the younger scouts. After leading my group for two years, joined the Senior Patrol, which consisted of four youth who are the leaders of the entire troop. I became a leader and a mentor to the younger scouts, just as the older scouts had been to me when I started as a scout. By passing on the skills I have learned, I am helping to continue the tradition and core values of scouting.
Being a Boy Scout has prepared me for the rest of my life. From basic first aid to wilderness survival, scouting has taught me to be trustworthy, helpful, thrifty, loyal, and most of all, prepared. The Scout Law and the Scout Oath have been the guiding force in choosing how to run my life, making me physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.
Hey cwuzzup, I was just wondering if you knew whether or not our UC essays may be under the 600 limit because I'm having trouble lengthing mine and I noticed your word total is only 551. I also have a friend that got into UCB and his 600 essay was only 548 words but I've also heard that they only allow a word total to be a little below and even less above. So i dunno...
Btw, I thought your essay was really good...it was very clear that a)you do things cuz YOU like them and not because your friends do b)your dilligent c) cooperative d)you have grown i.e. came over fears to talking to strangers adn finally e) you can lead
This an excellent essay! It clearly outlines the qualities you intend to bring to the university and says a lot positive things about your character. The remarks by v8m9t are right on target, and I echo them.
Now I'll list the things you might want to look at, proofing-wise:
"Working on my Eagle Scout project was the toughest challenge I faced in scouts."
I think "Scouts" should be capitalized, since it refers specifially to the program. This holds true throughout the essay.
"I quickly made new friends in other scouts who had joined at a different time than me. I quickly learned how to work together with others through interacting with my peers, and through that partnership I found that hard work makes projects much easier and faster."
"Me" in the first sentence should be "I." You could add say ". . . than I did" instead. Also, you might want to take out the second "quickly." The sentence doesn't need it.
"The main point of an eagle project is to let the eagle candidate learn how to be an effective leader on his own."
"Eagle" should be capitalized; again, it refers to a specific program.
"After leading my group for two years, joined the Senior Patrol, which consisted of four youth who are the leaders of the entire troop."
Oops--left out "I" between "years" and "joined." You also need an "s" on the end of "youth." Typos, right?
"I became a leader and a mentor to the younger scouts, just as the older scouts had been to me when I started as a scout."
Again, the capitization of "Scouts," and I'd end the sentence after "started." The rest is redunant.
That's it. You'll do very well with this essay, in my humble opinion.
Good luck in all your endeavors!