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'early stages of my life were transient' - UC Prompt #1; Mechanical Engineering

leej88 4 / 18  
Nov 29, 2008   #1
Alright, here's a draft of my Prompt #1 essay and its late I know. But due to compulsory military service that's required of me, I wasn't able to find much time to have it done...

Please give me some helpful pointers! I'm feeling that I'm not really connecting that WORLD I'm living in versus my aspirations... Dear Kevin, do you think I should change my last few paragraphs and do more linkage on my world and what I've aspired of dreamt of? I'm stuck and have no idea what to do to this essay now...

If someone were to ask me to describe my life as a kid, I would reply, all that I knew was that the early stages of my life were transient. They felt evanescent with a touch of whimsy lost in translation and I was not able to garner much information from the not-so-distant past. Yet, one thing I knew for sure: That my dire lust for complex machinery shows the mechanical engineer inside me.

The frantic roar of an engine coming to life was a frightening experience. A grey metallic orifice sputtered and stuttered hues of bluish grey smoke against the cool night sky. I gave the throttle a light blip and the revs climbed willingly, accompanied by a sweet serenading growl. Giving the car a final check, I registered in my mind; transmission checked, differentials checked, camber angle checked, suspension checked and we were ready to go!

I was only eight when I first landed myself with a gasoline powered radio controlled car. Fanciful it may sound, it was not just another toy but one that offered what a real car had, save for passenger seats and air conditioning. I remembered vividly the nights we (my dad and I) would spend, running through books on machine theory and automotive engineering in a desperate attempt to piece together the complex puzzle of nuts, bolts, gears and pistons. Terms like mechanical efficiency, indicated mean effective pressure and graphs that were as complex as ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics bombarded my young mind.

I bit my lips as I gingerly ran through the key components of the engine, assembling them with my deft little fingers. Running through the pistons, crankcase and camshaft, I was awestruck by such mechanical ingenuity of the internal combustion engine.

Such simple ideas gave rise to many of the greatest mechanical marvels of today. I vowed that one day, like what Karl Benz and Gottlieb Daimler had contributed to the world with their invention of the internal combustion engine; I too would create something of great impact and bring their works to a whole new level. Wouldn't it be great if one day, we could have super cars that ran on clean green engines or factories that expelled nothing but water vapor? The possibilities lay abound, waiting to be tapped into and I envisioned these to be a dream come through one day as I see myself applying this mechanical aptitude to greater use. After all, my dad, an engineer by background has always held true to his heart; the application of knowledge to create true value in helping the world.

It came upon me that such aspirations and dreams could only be wholesome and complete if the environment allows for such developments. Being near the Silicon Valley, where dreams and aspirations of young engineers often ended up as a reality, UC Berkeley offers me a conducive environment to further pursue my interest in mechanical engineering. The formulae to success could never have been better.

What better place do I have to fulfill this dream and aspiration?

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