Hello there! :) This is my university admissions essay.
I would appreciate any feedback on this! Please let me know if I have directly answered the question, and if this reflects well on my character or interest?
Thank you so, so much in advance!
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Consider something in your life you think goes unnoticed and write about why it's important to you.
"Earth to Nicole! Are you there?" a shrilling voice boomed into my right ear. It was my friend, whom by now was already used to my apparent deafness. No - I was not hard of hearing; I just paid more attention to the music between my ears than the noises in reality.
I am your typical music addict. My headphones are super-glued to my ears, and my head bobs to a tune only heard by me. People who first meet me are usually too quick to describe me as a recluse. Yet, what these onlookers do not know is that music is my inspiration, my motivation and a refuge for my sometimes-distressed soul.
And how could I blame them? They don't hear the magic in the music I am listening to. They don't feel the way music intensifies my feelings - be it when I am happy, sad, or angry.
When I am going through tough times, and just about on the verge of giving up, Beethoven's sonatas encourage me to keep going. Sometimes it's not so much of the music itself that I fall in love with, but the composer behind the music. Beethoven, the prodigy that pursued his music career despite turning deaf, taught me that we should never let any downfall get in our way of achieving our goal.
When I am alone with my thoughts, I turn to some of Michael Jackson's soft pop. In "Man in the Mirror", I get a glimpse into the King of Pop's perspective of life. It is fascinating to learn that so much meaning can be packed into a few lines of music.
On any day, my mind is usually carried away with the lyrical waves of a piano piece, or the pumped up beat of jazz. People say music has made me lost touch with the world. Yet, it is music that has allowed me to make sense of the world around me, and learn about both the atrocities and the brilliance of man's doings.
On the surface, I am probably the music nerd, who can name every piano piece of Chopin's, or the anti-social teen that uses headphones as a firewall to keep out others. However, I am really, more often than not, prying deeper into the lines of lyrics, or trying to appreciate the history and context of the piece, or simply coming up with my own lyrics for silent melodies. Music empowers me, and no amount of finger pointing can ever stop me from removing my headphones.
(423/500)
Okay, when the essay asks you to consider something that you perceive goes unnoticed, what that means is that you should choose something about yourself, it could be a character, trait, or habit, that you feel other people do not notice you constantly do or participate in. I do not believe that love and appreciation for music fills in the requirements for the prompt because people around you actually notice this trait of yours and , as you mentioned in the end of your essay, they finger point while looking at you. Unnoticed by definition means "not perceived or observed". In the context of this essay, you should choose a trait or habit or character of yours that you notice or know that you actually always do but that other people do not consider or observe about you. Try to choose a topic different from music appreciation. It could be anything from a hidden habit like biting your nails, or even an activity like volunteering at a soup kitchen. Choose something that other people would take for granted with you because while they know that you participate in it, they do not really know why it is important for you to be doing it.
