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UW Eau Claire essay for why I'm interested


b7tyler 1 / -  
Sep 20, 2018   #1

University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire essay



*Prompt* Why are you interested in the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire? What aspects of UW-Eau Claire are especially important to you? How will your particular life experiences, talents, commitments and/or interests help to enrich our community?

Looking into colleges, for me, started with UW Madison. While a beautiful campus, the city it is integrated in to just created a hectic stage in my mind. One of the most important things I got out of that tour was that I did want to spend my years of education following high school to be in a huge city. These criteria was essentially met and surpassed when I toured UW Eau Claire. I fell in love with the layout and the separation between the city and university.

What I'm going to be learning will mean a lot to me in the coming years. I intend to participate in the Actuarial Science program as well as the University Honors Program. I have always attended accelerated classes because the speed and difficulty of said classes challenged me and kept me interested, but my future plays a big part as well. This means the teaching staff that will help me acquire my actuarial science major need to be up to standards, which is exactly what UW Eau Claire provides. One of my main issues with certain classes is that teachers most of the time don't explain how the material we go over will pertain to real life. The actuarial science professors provide exactly those real-life examples that will help me in my future job.

I believe that a big part of the college experience is creating bonds and getting involved in the community. Eau Claire offering 250+ organizations gives the perfect balance of both by giving me a wide variety of activities to join and find my place in the student body. This campus is the perfect fit for me and I will be able to enhance the community as it will do to me.

*Thanks for any feedback this is my first college essay.*

RU_IS 3 / 13  
Sep 20, 2018   #2
Hi,

I felt some points are not clearly expressed:
1)While a beautiful campus, ... - The last part of this sentence does not make sense. DId you mean to say the beautiful campus excited you?

2) The actuarial science professors provide ... - This seems a generic statement about professors of this subject. You can make it specific to Eau Claire by mentioning that you have spoken to a professor there or have heard about the classes from other students.

Best of luck!
pachpenguin - / 2 2  
Sep 20, 2018   #3
Your general idea is good as you mentioned how the physical appearance and setting of the college and some of the college's programs and organizations appeal to you. However, this essay doesn't dive too deeply into the specifics of what you're referring to. What other aspects of the Actuarial science and the university honors programs do you like? How can you apply what you will potentially learn so that you can succeed in the future? If you perhaps look into what specific things these programs offer academically (research opportunities, independent study, hands-on learning, etc) you can demonstrate a greater knowledge of the school, which is what admissions officers look for in students.

When you talk about the organizations, name a few that you feel would suit your interests best and talk about them. Several schools have hundreds of organizations, but which ones at UW would you be able to fit into the best?

You're on the right track, just be more specific and elaborate on how the school's programs relate to your interests more. Good luck
Holt [Contributor] - / 6,858 1712  
Sep 21, 2018   #4
Tyler, your essay doesn't really address the proper prompt requirements. You are responding to the questions provided from a superficial point of view. These are responses that do not go beyond the aesthetics of the university. You rely on public information and shallow understanding of the university in itself. The prompt requires a deeper thought process for the responses.

For the question about your interest, delve into the major of your choice and the advantages that studying at the university brings. If your major is Actuarial Science, then explain how the university academic and internship programs will define you as a professional. How does your professional goal merge with your academic requirements in this field? How does the university respond properly to these expectations? Your current response seems to be implying great expectations that you may or may not have academically at the university. It is better to base the response on the actual abilities of the university to educate you rather than envisioning expectations.

The aspects and life experiences response needs to be merged into one paragraph because those are connected topics. The aspects important to you have to come from 2 areas, the academic and the social. These can be better explained why telling the reviewer what kind of academic and social background you are coming from and why you are looking forward to a wider life and academic experience as a student at the university.


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